Making that commitment in marriage

Mrs. Enegide is not the only woman facing this type of predicament but many of those in her shoes have decided to take life the way it presents itself. It is important for wives to have the support and encouragement of their husbands but most of them have failed in keeping to this commitment. There are several women that place so much importance on their husbands’opinion about them, thereby impacting in how they view themselves. This would have been an important ingredient in solidifying their marriage only if the man in question reciprocates this respect and does not disregard her with contempt.

It is the young girls that want to have fun only but all that changes when they become wives. What they look for thereafter is love and support from their husbands so that they can be assured of their commitment to the marriage.  “We have this notion that husbands never leave their wives, unfortunately, times have changed. We are in an era where the sanctity of marriage is lost because some men do not have value for it; they wait for the slightest opportunity to head straight to the next available bedroom. Commitment in a marriage is very vital as indeed every woman needs it to be assured of her husband’s sincerity her and the marriage” says Sarah Felix, a secondary school teacher.

“I have come to realise that whenever I give my wife even a little attention, there is general peace in the home and whenever I get preoccupied with other affairs to her detriment she starts nagging and complaining.  Wives are happy when their husbands give them enough concern, care, attention and gratitude,” says Mr. Jimoh Abdulrasheed, an Abuja based accountant. He goes on to lament that “Marriage more than ever is being threatened and it is all because of the lukewarm attitude that most husbands have indulged themselves in, they forget that no matter what your wife is, she should remain forever your partner and the true friend you will ever have, even though some argue that you can also get another woman better than what the one you have at home. There is this proverb that says the devil you know is better than the angel you do not know. There is every reason to show commitment in the marriage for the sake of peace and harmony,” he concludes.

According to Mr. Harley, a marriage consultant, “women’s top six emotional needs are affection, conversation, honesty, openness, financial support and family commitment. It is normal for every woman to feel bothered if her husband does not show commitment in whatever concerns her as it will keep haunting her that she is not good enough for him. It is important that husbands show confidence and give support to their wives; every woman deserves her husband’s trust, support and confidence in her capabilities. There is nothing as painful as being neglected and short changed by a spouse especially if it is happening to the woman.

No marriage is smooth all through as there are bound to be problems in one form or the other, but totally demeaning your wife and not showing concern causes emotional pain and stress for the woman. Every woman deserves the right to feel special and unique. Problems come and go “my husband is quick to forgive me when I make a mistake and once a problem is discussed and solved it is over with him. This shows a maturity of character and gives me confidence that he is willing to remain committed to the relationship. I feel happy and relaxed, at least it shows that he wants the best for the marriage” says Hajia Jummai Awalu.

Whatever the reason maybe, though some of the reasons might be beyond our control, commitment to the marriage costs only a little energy compared to the pains and devastation it might cause at the end when things go terribly wrong.