Lick your babies

Why do rats lick their babies? What is the equivalent of baby licking in humans? How can you predict your child’s character by their third birthday?

Scientists like to experiment with mice because they have similar brain structures as humans and share 97% DNA with us. That is why rodents make up 95% of all animals used in biomedical research in the U.S. – even though over 80% of research with mice doesn’t apply to humans according to Steve Perrin’s 2014 comment in journal Nature. [78]

Yet they keep using them because it is less risky to cut the animals open than to experiment with humans.

It was during such exercise that Michael Meaney, a neuroscientist from McGill University and his colleagues noticed something. When they put baby rats (called pubs) back into their cages, the mothers (called dams) go to lick them, to comfort them and relieve them of anxiety. The handling of the rats by scientists released stress hormones which licking and grooming countered – calming down the babies.[79]

They also found another surprising thing: not all rats did this. Some mothers would lick their babies and others wouldn’t.

The researchers, therefore, separated the licked babies (called High LG) and the unlicked ones (Low LG). After 100 days, when the rats were fully matured, they were subjected to a series of tests.

Results showed that High-LG rats (the licked ones) were more social, more curious, healthier, less aggressive and had more self-control.

Two tests, however, stood out. In my 2016 ebook, “Why Rats Lick Their Babies and How to Lick Yours,” I described the two tests:

“First there’s the one call open-field test where the rats were put in a large box to see how they will explore the area. The rats which were licked a lot immediately distinguished themselves. While the low-LG offspring lacked confidence and only spent five seconds to explore the box, the high-LG offspring spent about 35 seconds to roam around the box, out of the five minutes they were all given. In the second test that measured fearfulness, the hungry rats were put in another box and offered food for 10 minutes.

“Again while high-LG offspring started eating after only four minutes, low-LG offspring started eating after nine minutes. Also, the high-LG rats ate for two minutes while the other group ate for only a few seconds – showing that they were more afraid.”

Paul Tough, in his book, ‘How Children Succeed,’ commented on Meaney’s research:

“…on each one, the high –LG offspring excelled: They were better at mazes. They were more social. They were more curious. They were less aggressive. They had more self-control. They were healthier. They lived longer.”

The message in this research is that by simply grooming and caring for their babies when they were anxious the mother rats helped their children deal with stress in their adulthood – indeed the scientists reported that by responding to their babies’ needs, the mothers switched on a DNA in them that helped them tackle stress in the future.

Nevertheless, this is in rats. What does this say about humans?

We can trace the equivalent of licking and grooming in humans to the Attachment Theory started by a British psychoanalyst, John Bowlby, and a Canadian researcher from the University of Toronto, Mary Ainsworth.

Attachment theorists studied the behaviour of toddlers and their attachment to their parents. In the 1950s, behaviourists discouraged parents from paying immediate attention to their babies to comfort them to prevent the children from being spoilt.

Nevertheless, works of attachment theorists showed that insight was nonsense. In a series of studies in the 1960s and 1970s, Mary Ainsworth’s research showed that children whose parents responded immediately when they were in need or distress grew up to become more independent than the children whose parents didn’t respond – when they’re crying for example.

Paul Tough commented in his book: “Babies whose parents responded readily and fully to their cries in the first months of life were, at one year, more independent and intrepid than babies whose parents had ignored their cries. In preschool, the pattern continued—the children whose parents had responded most sensitively to their emotional needs as infants were the most self-reliant. Warm, sensitive parental care, Ainsworth, and Bowlby contended, created a “secure base” from which a child could explore the world.”

This research also showed that by age one, depending on the early nurturance of parents, one can predict which child will likely have bad character (be mean, dependent, selfish, become drug addict, etc.) and which child will have good character (successful, independent, bounce back from setbacks, relate well with others and so forth.)

1400 years before the attachment theorists, Prophet Muhammad (SAW) did not only practice this parenting style, he also demonstrated it openly.

During a prayer, for example, he heard a baby crying. (Women were in the mosque praying behind the men.) The Prophet did not only shorten the prayer, but he also explained why he did that: so that the mother would attend to her child. It wasn’t because the baby was disturbing the worshipers, no. It was done in the interest of the mother and child – so that the mother could attend to the baby immediately and fully.

It was narrated from Anas ibn Maalik that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I start to pray intending to make it long, then I hear the crying of a child, so I make it short because of his mother’s distress.” – Narrated by al-Bukhaari (677) and Muslim (470).

The message here is that when your baby cries for your attention, your response must be immediate! And that is the first parenting technique of Prophet Muhammad (may peace be upon him): When your child needs you, respond IMMEDIATELY and FULLY.

Therefore,  parents, especially mothers, should be patient when it comes to their children. Pick that baby up and comfort it. However, for those people who continue in their ways and ignore the children, they should know that their behaviour has no basis in science or religion.