Let your friends see your true colours

Have you ever questioned the integrity of your friend or have you ever felt used by your friends? Many people are continually faced by these questions and the difficult challenge in finding true friends; sadly you are not alone in this dilemma.

Last week, a friend wrote in to say that he was a victim of rejection because when he lost his job in one of the most lucrative places in the country, he was then faced with the realities of life as all those he thought he could rely on deserted him. These are people he once called friends and associates. The value of friendship has been tarnished by those who have taken advantage of the true meaning of the word “friendship”.  Most of those we see as friends are mostly manipulative and deceitful people who abuse the trust of their supposed friends for their own selfish needs. This is a problem women run into mostly not to say that men do not face them also but then, women are mostly the victims of this kind of deceitful friendship.

We all have friends whom we interact with everyday, yet how many of them are willing to stand by us times of trouble and tribulation? Are we, on our part, willing to stand by our friends in times of their hardship? These are serious questions that most of us might not be willing to give genuine answers to. Many people these days are quick to say everyone needs to carry his or her own cross.

Friendship is something that is different for everyone but must be nurtured and cherished by whoever believes in it. A friend is one that you can share your deepest thoughts with, someone you can trust explicitly; it does not matter where or how long you have known that person. A true friend would be concerned about what happens to you, assuaging you with positive words; not bugging you with questions about how you ended up in whatever circumstances that you find yourself.

A true friend will hold and comfort you when you are sad and give you a shoulder to lean on when you need to cry, they will never judge your actions instead they will advise you when you take a wrong step and will share every emotion you are going through in life. Do you have a true friend who fits into all these?

Knowing what being a true friend entails, assess yourself; can you say you are a true friend to any one of your friends you consider to be worthy of the friendship? Abandoning our friends in their darkest hour is one flaw most of us harbour either consciously or subconsciously. Our friends are an extension of our lives and happiness. With them, we share our greatest moments and happiness in times of needs and lean on them in times of our deepest despair, friends are a chosen extension of our families by us, so why abandon them at the time when they need us most in their lives? Friends are our choice so we need to cherish them, more so that they have equally chosen to be our true friends.

A true friend is a little more than a very good friend as someone once said, “If you have a true friend count yourself lucky and if you can also become a true friend to someone, you are blessed, because it is much easier for all of us to expect but very difficult to give”. This statement is very true of the kind of friendship most of us have. True friendship is challenging and exciting, it overlooks faults but also involves being truthful even if the truth might hurt sometimes. Beyond truthfulness, friendship involves shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see each other grow and develop and hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life. A true friend will support you even if it hurts his or her own interest, a true friend will come forth and help without being asked and without expecting anything in return. In your hour of depression, a true friend will support you even if the whole world is against you. True friends go out of their ways to bring happiness and understanding no matter the cost.

Through the years, friends will come and go but a true friend will always be there forever, no matter what. So the question remains what kind of friend are you? Are you the type that will stick to yours or one that will eventually abandon them when they need you most in their darkest hours in life? Can your friends see your true colours?