A reader sent an e-mail last week and a portion of it went: “I don’t have access to our joint account and any time I ask for money, it ends up being a quarrel. Was the decision to share a bank account with a man I’m dating to marry and allowing him full access a wise move?”
Joint accounts always come with issues, especially when it involves couples linked romantically. They are believed to solidify a relationship and save up for a rainy day. But these days many don’t operate joint accounts because of mistrust and other issues.
Peace Akpan, a 34-year-old teacher said: “No Nigerian lady today operates a joint account with her man. She should be advised to open another account in her name and give to her company, that way she has access to her own money.”
Janet Innocent, 38, is a banker. “My dear, quit that relationship as fast as you can, except you are ready to live with such an attitude for the rest of your life. As a girlfriend you are lucky to have money for food. When you become a wife, your life will be over because you will practically be begging for money to feed. Read the writing on the wall and run for the sake of peace and serenity in your life.”
Temilade Thomas, a 38-year-old lawyer spoke: “She is not married to this man and already sharing everything with him! Even the married ones don’t. She is just being a big fool. He is not her husband and already giving her rules on how she will run her life. I bet you when they get married he won’t even allow her to work. She should do the proper thing and get her life back and look for someone who will respect her for who she is. As for the sharing of bank accounts, she made the biggest mistake of her life. I would like to advise women generally to think like a man and act like a lady. Joint accounts do not confirm love and in this case she is engaged, not married.”
Mrs. Aisha Bello, a social worker, believes that there is nothing that love cannot do. “Joint accounts in a relationship aren’t so bad. I will suggest that she talks things over with him on what she feels about him being in charge of the account. If she still insists on operating a joint account, it should be a certain percentage of their income. Moreover, they are yet to be married, so I see no reason for it, especially at this stage of their relationship. If he disagrees to this approach the he should be termed a ‘financial molester’.”
Hajiya Tanko, a housewife, explained that someone who cannot manage a joint account without drama cannot manage a peaceful relationship either. “If she really loves him and he does too, both of them should manage the account together. That way they both know what goes in and out. A joint account is not supposed to be a slush fund of sorts for only one partner; it is supposed to come in as a last resort to both partners. Joint accounts are good when used judiciously but could also turn out to be negative if one partner uses it selfishly.”
Having a joint account should be the preserve of married couples, not intending couples. They should also be for contributions towards a specific and beneficial project where one or both parties contribute. True love, they say, is blind. But when it comes to money, women should ‘shine’ their eyes very well.
