It’s over, what next?

Getting over a break up is a tough feat. There are times when we try to salvage our marriages and all our efforts become worthless because at the end of the day, the marriage still hits the rocks.  The pain and trauma women go through this period is very demoralising as one is not always prepared for a separation from someone that you took vows with to love till death do you part. Whether it was you who decided to end the relationship or it was ended by your partner, you will definitely experience grief and despair because it is not easy finding a path to true love and severing that bond on a negative note.

We must understand that break ups hurt so much even if the relationship is no longer good. According to Prof. (Mrs) Udenma Oge, “break ups are painful because it represents a great loss and not just the relationship because you have shared a great deal of dreams and commitments with this person whom you find no longer interesting and loving”.

A break up is a highly life changing and stressful event and can be terrible but you have to understand that when going through any of these life changing experiences, it is important that you do not allow the sorrow to weigh you down and set you backwards, but you have a right to move on and live a positive live with or without your spouse. The pain and stress of a break up leaves you physically and psychologically vulnerable to other negative experiences as you have to start live all over again from the very scratch in the society but, only you and you alone can turn your life around.

“In times of emotional crisis, there is an opportunity to learn and grow, just because you feel an emptiness in your life does not mean there is no essence of your living or that things will become difficult and will never change. I would suggest that such a person considers that period a time out for sewing new seeds for a better and stable growth”, says Phill Belthi, a psychology expert in Europe.

Breaking up from a relationship or a marriage is never easy especially for the woman. One thing that anyone suffering from a break up should understand is that it takes time for the pain to heal and that you cannot escape from the memories.  All you will need is the strength to face it and make meaningful living out of life. A break up does not give you the opportunity to start jumping from one to two and trying to paint the whole town black.

It is a time that you need to really look at what mistakes you made in the past and trying to find the right person for you.  In trying to find the right person, you do not have to be in a hurry as most women are fond of doing that. They want to prove to their ex that they are still capable of attracting a man and, may rush into any available blurred marriage and at the end of the day, they find out that their first home was far better than the present one. But then, it will be too late and you find yourself leaving there again and then the number counts of husbands for you begins for you already have two to your credit and then the question is; how many more to go?

Do not rush into any marriage or relationship. It will not help in overcoming your emotional pain. Instead, find something like a hubby to lean on. You can also choose a support person that you know will be objective and will not give you negative advice. Then you can reel out your problems to him or her because keeping those emotions inside you is doing more harm than good. So it is better that you pour them out.

A break up is an emergency situation and you will need all the comfort and reassurance from your loss so as not to slip into a state of depression. All you need is to concentrate on your needs for when you were with your ex, you concentrated more on his needs. It is now time to concentrate on pleasing yourself and forge ahead with life.

Break up is not something that is easy to cope with, but when it happens, it is part of life. You need to brace yourself up and get through it. The world is filled with interesting and wonderful people and if you have the positive and right attitude, you will find responsible people who will help you through your darkest moments.