Is social media ruining your emotional life?

Facebook, a very active aspect of social media, has almost everyone involved one way or the other. It is one platform where we meet lots of friends on a daily basis. It has also brought together families as many relationships have started from there and ended up in marriages. But on the other hand it has been misused by many to carry out negative acts and deceit. The question now is should social media be a channel for serious relationships?
One of my sister’s friends, Amaka explains her travails trying to find romance via social media: “I met him on Facebook, he was the one that added me up, I found out that we are from the same place and we started a relationship. I love this guy with all my heart even though we have not seen each other but his seriousness and honesty about our relationship made me love him more. But the problem is that he has stopped communicating with me for weeks now. I have tried all I can to find out what the problem is but all to no avail. He only tried to tell me that I should look at his pictures and understand that he is no more a kid. Please what do I do? Should I let him go?  I am finding it hard to let go of him. I am so confused.”
Responses to this poser were as varied as they were interesting, with many noting that social media is the worst place to start a relationship, while others say it has proved over time that it can be one place where true love can be found. A few, skeptical though think it should be a last option when every other way fails.
Bolanle Abdul, a 38-year-old banker ponders: “His seriousness and honesty? Is she for real? Seriousness by correspondence without any further commitment is nothing to hold on to. I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around her falling in love with someone she is yet to meet. Women should learn to give themselves some worth. Why would a woman take seriously, a guy she has never met in real life but only on social media? What impression does she hope to make that she fell in love with someone she has never met on Facebook? No guy will take her seriously. Those who got lucky finding mates on Facebook had sheer luck shinning on them. There is nothing like letting go as she never had him in the first place.”
Forty-year-old accountant, Hauwa Bello, wonders why anyone would want to put all her hope on someone she hasn’t met in person:  “I will advise her not to put all her hope on someone she hasn’t seen, let everything between them be neutral until she sees him physically. All that glitters they say is not gold and pictures are not always what they seem. She fell in love with someone she met online without seeing him physically; I think it’s a dangerous one. Don’t women read about Facebook love turning into dangerous adventures? She should please not allow yourself to be a victim. Love doesn’t mean you should let loose of yourself.”
Mercy Akpan, a 38-year-old teacher, says: “Online dating has been thriving in the Western world for years; it’s only in our setting that people use it differently and as a means to deceive and cheat people. I would advise that if she is sure he loves her and she does too then she should hold her peace for a while. I met my husband on Facebook and we have lived together for five years now. At first it didn’t sound right to me but along the line he proved he was serious and committed and today we are happily married. So find out what the problem is before you decide on the next move.”
Thirty-nine-year old engineer, Ahmed Usman argues that you can’t love someone you have not met and advises that: “Never falls in love with someone you have never met or seen. For the lady in question my simple advice to her is to move on with her life. Don’t allow him to toy with your emotions; Facebook is full of fake people. If he is serious, let him show up. I think you should be careful, what do you know about him apart from what he told you? Do you know any of his relations? If he is serious about you, he would have linked you up with his dearest relations e.g. mum, sister or father. Tread carefully please.”
Agnes Abutu, a 42-year-old civil servant, says: “I’ve heard about crying over spilt milk but haven’t heard about crying over nothing. What is she finding difficult to let go of? She never had him in the first place. What does she mean that she is confused? Sometimes I keep praying that people have more boys so the ration of men to women will be more than women to men. What makes her think he was 100 percent honest to her or that he actually did send his real picture and not one picked from the net? She should wake up to reality and stop dreaming. He was just toying with her, guys do that a lot on social media.”
Marriage counsellor Hajiya Maryam Abdullahi, notes that there is nothing to be confused about: “Personally, I would say, don’t bank on a relationship characterised by uncertainty. Let the guy be if he doesn’t want to talk and quit this emotional dependency on him because you really don’t know him.”