Is marriage worth the pain?

Marriage and family are definitely good things. They are important and life-altering, and are not to be entered into lightly. If you are so fortunate as to find the right woman or man then you will probably encounter the normal ups and downs of marriage but for some it is a nightmare for them to have thought about marriage in the first place. Some people are of the feeling that marriage is not in the first necessary because of the emotional hurt and torment that one has to go through when in it.

“Marriage is supposed to be a beautiful institution where two people share one beautiful life together, loving and supporting each other, but I have only found it to be a hurtful and ugly thing that takes your heart and makes it hurt for years. I have wasted my life with the dream of living a meaningful and fruitful marriage life. Now I am miserable, unable to achieve what I could have achieved if I had not had marriage as my priority. While I was sitting at home trying to make the marriage work out it was as if I was pouring water into a basket. Marriage is not worth it at all,” says Kemi Akinibosun, an Abuja-based housewife.

“I’m not going to lie. There have been many days over the course of my 6-year marriage that I have thought and have even said “this isn’t worth it.”  But because we made so much noise about the wedding we just kept trying to stay for the sake of the only child we have but the more we stayed, the more we found unpleasant things about ourselves. Staying in a marriage that is baseless is a waste of time and the greatest mistake anyone can make. In conclusion, it is living a life of pretence at your own expense and happiness,” says Godwin Marcus ,an athlete. As one Abdullahi Aliyu said: “A marriage to the right person is worth it and worth any sacrifice but a marriage to the wrong person can be disastrous and very horrible. But then marriage is not one that has to be rushed into, there are several things that has to be considered before agreeing to the marriage contract. Every marriage has its ups and downs but there are marriages that are just doomed right from the very first day.”

“By our nature as humans, we come with our baggage of imperfection into it. What you find therefore is that a union that was created to bring bliss becomes tense. I will tell you that it is thestrongly believe I would have been better off in bliss by myself than being in a marriage. The truth is bitter but I would advocate that one does not stay put in a marriage that is not convenient for him or her. I say get out and find your peace and happiness out there if the pain has become unbearable in the union,” one Kareem Abubakar, based in Abuja, added.

“I only got married because of the pressure that was being mounted on me by family and friends. Being in the marriage now is living hell because every day there is always one problem or the other to iron out with the madam. To me, if this is what marriage is all about, then there was no need to be married in the first place. Sincerely speaking, marriage is just not worth it at all because you see this human called woman is a very difficult being to live peacefully with otherwise, marriage is a worthless romanticized notion promoting the ridiculous idea that two people can actually become one” says. Bobby Emeka.

Is marriage really worth it? Yes, it is definitely worth any pain especially if you have kids. There is no perfect marriage. All through, it is either we have it rough at the beginning or at the end. Marriage is meant for those that are ready for it. Marriage can become boring at a particular time due to the fact that we see ourselves every day. That is why some marriage counselors recommend that there is need to to give ourselves breathing space so that the emotions can be reignited in the absence of one of the partner because the more we see ourselves, the more we tire of each other. The problem is that many people marry before they are ready to do and end up being miserable and frustrated.

Marriage, when entered into thoughtfully, can enhance your life and give it more meaning. Marriage is work, but it is worth the effort. Every day is not blissful but when it is, it is wonderful.