Is IG Idris the biblical wicked servant?

Those who accuse Pa Bubu of not having the liver to hammer his appointees are missing something. As checkpoint experts like to say, Pa Bubu loves to ‘show appreciation’. Our president cannot bring himself to betray friends and associates even when, as some would add they look crooked. Generals expect full loyalty but give room for human frailty. With them, once trust is established, rumours and perception hardly change it. 

For our pretense to cosmopolitanism, many of our wives won’t survive the public rebuke of our failings. Wives are known to whisper in markets, that many a public democrat is an unbearable dictator at home. Wives and children are happiest when such closet lions are away. The sound of their footsteps or vehicles sends other householders scampering into the relative safety of their individual hideouts. Not so the powerful man of the most populous nation. Sai Baba’s wife does not hesitate to call a press conference to make him hear her mind, so how could anyone doubt that he is unaware of things happening in larger spaces? 

Ignore international media ombudsmen accusing Sai Baba of bringing back Decree 4 and putting journalists in detention. Many more pen pushers and media houses are likely to be hit before the 2019 polls courtesy of the hate speech bill and other arcane laws being put to the test. Ask politricians and they’ll tell you these are telltale signs of a seemingly endless learning curve. 

Sai Baba’s expression of appreciation is often confused with nepotism. Presidents don’t goof, they speak their minds – ask Donald Dumb. For instance Pa Bubu said he couldn’t share political appointments equally with those areas that gave him only 5% of their cherished votes. They cannot expect him to waste patronage the way they wasted their votes – shikenan! To date, Sai Baba does what’s right in Sai Baba’s mind.

Peppersoup joints and glue-sniffing arena members know that IG Ibrahim Idris is an appointee of gratitude. Beyond the jealousy of Lagosians who whine that the city is closed for the hero-of-the-moment’s visit, someone delivered the swing votes from Kano in the 2015 elections. Such an individual deserves compensation. When Sai Baba returned to Kano in December last year, he reminded opponents that Kano is to Naija presidential polls what swing state votes are to American presidential-wannabes. When enemies recently showed up with videos and pictures of underage voters, Ganduje’s media guys countered it with incredible ease by reminding us that Kenyans wear the same dress as almajirai. Wafula Chebukari is yet to deny that. It could be lunar coincidence therefore that Mr. Idris left Kano and ended up as the new inspector-general.

That’s obviously not a reason to die for the nation. So, when Sai Baba ordered him to Benue’s killing zone, he chose to watch from a safe haven in close-by Lafia. His enemies called on his boss to fire him, but the man refused, explaining that secret reprimand is better than open rebuke. Publicly, he warned his service chiefs to wake up and tackle insecurity or face the music. He wasn’t talking about small killings like the 68 allegedly slaughtered in Zamfara last week. Zamfara – do you know where that is?

IG Idris takes his life and his job seriously. Last week, he read the riot act to Ali Janga, Kogi’s erstwhile commissioner of police. He could have sacked the chap if the PSC allowed him to do so. Yes, the chap bungled an implausible story against the idiotic nuisance, Champagne Dino. While Janga wanted us to believe that with the boys he arrested would bring Kogi’s persistent insecurity to an end, herdsmen were ravaging parts of the state. Dino was in relative safety, enjoying the drama and increasing the elasticity of notoriety. Stories without hashtags never get to Sai Baba’s good ears and Idris is keeping the job he loves.

Idris removed Janga ostensibly for sleeping while his prime suspects escaped the notorious ‘A’ Division detention facility in Lokoja. The IG does not share Sai Baba’s secret rebuke theory. Janga should take a crash course from Alozie Ogugbuaja.

Idris’ prompt action led to what I missed in Sunday catechism. The reading was taken from Chapter 18 of Saint Matthew’s Gospel. In it, Jesus the Christ, aka Anabi Isa gave the story of the King who wanted to reconcile the accounts of his debtors. In the process, he forgave one with the biggest debt, a kindness unknown to IMF’s chief debt collectors. Surprisingly, the debtor who was forgiven the most encountered one who owed him little just in the euphoria of now being debt free. You would expect him to forgive as he was forgiven, but no. He had this debtor badly beaten, bound and tossed in the worst prison. When the King heard the tale, he was cross and ordered the wicked servant’s debts reinstated with interest.

I know there are lawyers who think a debt once cancelled should never be reinstated. Thus far, Janga is yet to be sacked from all we know, but definitely his perceived sins were not forgiven. The big question now is, who is to blame – IG Idris for not showing as much sympathy as he was shown or Pa Bubu for not having the liver to wield the big axe. I’ll never call my chief security officer the wicked servant – even if I’m tempted to.