Incidences, coincidences and friendly fire

Conspiracy theories would have invoked another doctrine of necessity to effect a civilian coup. In Zambia, they are happy to see Michael Sata for the first time since June when he returned from – pilgrimage to Jerusalem?
We have a President that is always in the public glare. He loves to travel whenever the need arises. He was in France when Hollande summoned him and the errand boys who share borders with Naija to the Champs-Elyzées in May. Before then he was at the Africa and Counter Terrorism Summit in London. A few weeks ago, he answered the summons of Barack Obama and politely left his wife behind. At that summit, presidential pictures showed the president at his humble best, taking the back row among his peers as if avoiding out of season political Ebola. Never mind the ‘opposition’ who interpreted modesty as inferiority complex; what do they know about presidential humility?
Months back, the president was on both knees at the home of his late Oga; greeting the patriarch of the Yar’aduas on his knees! Some wicked people dared to say that he had dragged the office of the president to the floor as if it was ever higher. Some even complain that presidential entourage, especially to countries noted for glittering shopping malls are usually too large. Such people have not read the exclusive book – The Wasteful Habits of Ruiners of Rich Nations authored by Reuben Apati, with Forward by Doyin Okugbe.
In October 2013, President Jones was on a pilgrimage to Israel. Curiously, Stella Oduah, then embattled aviation minister was also in Israel. It was at the heart of the purchase of the N225 billion bulletproof cars by a department under her supervision. Before leaving Abuja, President Jones had ordered an administrative inquiry into the issue headed by his National Security Adviser, Sambo Dasuki. Somehow, the investigator and the investigatee were both in Tel Aviv although presidential loyalists tried to tone down the coincidence by reporting how the president ‘snubbed’ his minister in Israel. That was a coincidental incident. What they forgot to say was that Oduah was using a ticket accruing from her frequent flyer air miles. She has since been reassigned to non-ministerial duties.
Five months ago, over 200 schoolgirls were abducted from a school in Chibok. From denying, Godswill Akpabio recently told BBC that some on the number had gone missing before the Chibok incident. Incidentally we now know why they have failed to bring back our girls. As the governor in charge of a state noted for its cruel treatment of suspected child witches and a right-hand man of our president, maybe Akpabio has information about our abducted girls from his state exorcists.
As far as the rest of us with conscience know, a global movement, #BringBackOurGirls resulted from their abduction. Presidential Yokosuna, Doyin Okugbe tried to run it down at every moment he went on air but when that failed, he launched the distasteful hashtag, #BringBackJonathan for continuity. With presidential security vote, it caught like wildfire until an American newspaper ran it down then the president ordered the gang disbanded and the banners burnt. That reprehensible conduct started by an insider is what you will call an incidence of friendly fire.
A state of emergency has been in place in Haramistan, the former playpen of Ali Modu Sheriff. The airport was closed to military and civilian aircrafts; even to Hajj operations. That was until July when Sheriff ported to the ruining party. Suddenly, the SOE was relaxed and the airport opened allowing Sheriff’s plane to dock. That was a strange incident. The coincidence was that even the haram boys went on holiday, no blasts as witnessed when ‘opposition’ governors paid a solidarity visit to Maiduguri in February 2013.
Coincidentally, a white man has fingered Sheriff as a grand commander of Boko Haram and President Jones has promised to investigate the allegation. Last week, President Jones announced he was going to Ndjamena for talks aimed at regionally tackling Boko Haram and guess who showed up as a member of the Naija community in Ndjamena? You guessed right – Sheriff.
Shortly after landing, presidential media bunglers went viral with pictures of the President conspicuously pumping Sheriff’s unholy hands and later comfortably sitting in court at talks with Derby. This was the man Marilyn Orgar’s boys were supposed to be investigating. But his ghost managed to sneak off to Ndjamena as member of the Naija diaspora. It was great to hear from those who tweeted the shots initially that this coincidence is an opposition blunder. Earnestly, it is a presidential friendly fire. Now, how many incidences and coincidences must it take to tactically manouevre out those responsible for unwarranted presidential friendly fires? That is the question.