We all grew up to fondly call her Mama or, when in an indulgent mood, Uwanin Lawan. Rajab 27, 1444, which is February 18, 2023, marked the 40th day Mama departed this world—January 8, 2023 (Jumada Thani 17, 1444) with all her offspring and husband by her side, peacefully and ceaselessly uttering the Kalimat Ashdhahada.
Alhamdulillah, we were witnesses to that. May Allah, the compassionate and merciful, accept all her supplications and good deeds and overlook her shortcomings.
As your first daughter, you weaned me so early but what am I to say other than Alhamdulillah. I feel like a baby trying to take its first steps. I know I will walk and fall but eventually, with your prayers and legacy, I will walk tall. You taught me to pray in bad times and pray even harder in good times. I feel your soul looking over me while I embark on this new insurmountable journey deprived of your watchful eyes and guidance. Your prayer for the mover of hearts to make our bond strong “Allah ya amsa, ya hada zukatan ’ya’yan ki” for we are each others biggest comforters.
“Wallahil azeem”! you mentioned in your last few days that you knew that l was trying to be strong and acting all too normally and that my cry would be the hottest, loudest and longest. Mama, I must now confess, it’s all so true. I have cried endlessly like a child that has lost its favourite toy. I yearn to dream of you and see your face, for your reassurance that I started on the right foot, and pray to Allah to guide our path.
You meant the world to me and more. I see me in you, when I walk and talk. I wish to take a long, deep sleep, but I know I will still wake up to the feeling of you gone far to eternity from me and my siblings. Some days, I had wished I could join you soon but other days, I wish to live longer so I can, in shaa Allah, have as fulfilled a life as you had.
They say time heals all wounds, but I am afraid it seems it only numbs the wound. I had said this to you, “in shaa Allah mama ku ne yan cikin quryar palon Annabi”, to which you smiled and replied “tare da ku”. With your beautiful earthly life brought to an end – as everybody’s would sooner or later, “da shaidar mutane, in shaa Allah, Allah zai tabbatar miki da haka”.
I have always been envious of Yaya Ismail. He lived a short, fulfilled and beautiful life. He was survived by parents who prayed for him earnestly until Mama’s last breath and, I can vouch, daily until Baba’s. I am more envious today that their two beautiful souls have met, in close physical proximity and in love and peace, until the day we meet them too. I cannot imagine what or how Baba feels now, over the loss of his friend, consort, counsel, enforcer and “abokiyar raha da fada” Uwanin Lawan, a wife of 45 years.
As kids, while growing up, and as adults, we have known Baba and Mama to be best of friends. They had remained as such until she left. Like Umma (Prof Fatima Batul Mukhtar), her sister and friend, said, “Zainab makes you feel so special, and has a special place in her heart for everybody. I don’t know how she managed to do it because she truly had a place for everyone she knew or even met fleetingly.” I felt like “kowa ya zo gaisuwar taaziyya” wanted to say something to feel important or signify their acquaintance with Mama, but after hearing them, evidently and truly, they must have had, at one time or other, a sweet unforgettable encounter with Mama—one that left an indelible imprint. I want to say this, not out of praise or pride, that you were the sweetest soul and had the warmest and kindest heart. You’ve touched many lives positively and your legacy will live way longer than you, In shaa Allah.
To say we all miss you is an understatement but I pray to Allah to fill every vacuum and void you left and replace it with love and endless prayers for you to meet your Lord in the way He is most pleased. Perhaps, it is pertinent to end this by invoking the last verses of Suratul FAJR and pray that it applies to Mama.
(To the righteous it will be said) “O reassured soul; Return to your Lord, well-pleased and pleasing (to Him). And enter among My (righteous) servants. And enter My Paradise”
Maryam sent this piece from Kano
