Choosing a life partner is one of the most important decisions one would ever make – more serious than getting a job, house or hanging out with friends. But then, what are those important factors to be considered when seeking for a mate?
Love starts when two people share mutual feelings of love, which subsequently births a relationship. It involves a lot of trials and errors, having meeting points, and swallowing one’s pride/ego. This is because marriage is a union of two imperfect people who have different backgrounds and upbringing.
Notwithstanding, we sometimes lose sight of what is really important because we think loving someone is the sole reason to be in a relationship, but it’s not.
There are some factors which people consider as important when searching for a potential marriage mate. LifeXtra spoke to some people on the factors they considered most important while choosing a spouse.
David Seventy-eighth Psalmist listed his three most important criteria as “Compatibility, openness towards my family and financial independence.”
He explained that checking for compatibility requires answering questions like “Does she suit you? Does she understand you, communication-wise? Is she the kind of person that complements your person?
According to him, openness towards family here doesn’t mean she has to make everyone like her “but there are some people she has to blend with. That’s the difference between wedding and marriage. Like it or not, she would somehow rely on one or two people in times when third party is needed to mediate on certain issues.”
On financial independence, David said “The world has gone past when women are sit-home mums. She should have a source of income; if it’s not a job, then a business because multiple streams of income is a plus for the family. It also removes idleness as both of us strive towards building and setting goals.”
Samson Sammy, a married man, highlighted four factors he considered important. He said “There has to be that physical attraction. It is a common thing for men to want to get married to attractive women. Secondly, she needs to have the ability to adapt because life can be dramatic for some people, and she needs to be prepared to take it bravely and efficiently.”
“She needs to believe in herself; this is where confidence comes in because I just don’t see myself with a person that is emotionally weak and easily controllable,” he added.
“Finally, there should be communication and love. She needs to properly love me through soft and warming words, and with lots of hugs. And then the communication lines must always be open,” he concluded.
Also speaking to LifeXtra, Soso Chinny Abel said “He should have virtues like being responsible, honest, transparent, and godly. Other questions would be: Is he hardworking or lazy? And finally I’ll do some fact-check about his family background/upbringing.”
In an article ‘5 Foundations Every Successful Relationship Needs’ on www.lifehack.org, Chantalle Gerber wrote “Having a happy and successful relationship can be a struggle. It seems that all too often, our relationships go downhill over time, and we are left to wonder “why can’t things just be the way they used to be?”
“Foundations are the key to maintaining all the goodness in your relationship. They will determine the quality and success of your relationships years down the track,” she added.
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