How would you teach your child sex education?

Considering how complex and important treating this subject is with children, how would parents approach the issue of sex education? What age is sex education even considered most appropriate? LifeXtra looks at varying views and reports.

In times past, sex education for children was unheard of and mostly referred to as an inappropriate subject. When a child is sexually abused in a family, parents try to conceal such act to avoid shame on their family name and stigma on their child.

However, nowadays, sex education according to Professional Early Childhood Practitioners remains an essential lesson for children.

Amaka Mark, Early Childhood Facilitator and Publisher, said children these days are very wise, smart and fast at learning. She added that from age four, she starts to teach her children sex education. “I would use my children as an example in teaching sex education. I started by letting them know the sensitive parts of their body. Mentioning the original name not framing the names.

“For my daughter, I would tell her that the sensitive parts of her body are breast, buttocks and vagina. I will not start by telling her the breast is a ball or creating any name which might distort her clarity of understanding. For the boy, I will tell him that sensitive parts of his body are penis, his buttocks and even his breast. That is the first step to take – the names.

“Thereafter, I will tell them that only you own these sensitive parts of your body; you should not play with it and you should not allow others play with it. Do not allow anybody to touch it; not even daddy, not even mummy, not even uncle, not even aunty and not even your friends because they are the sensitive parts of your body.

“If anyone come to touch your sensitive part, scream and run away. Report to mummy, your daddy, or any grown up close to you at that time, make sure you run away. Another power weapon of sex education at a tender age is reinforcement. When I’m bathing my children, I make sure I have them mention the sensitive parts of their body. While pouring water on them, I let them know that this sensitive part belongs to them so they have to wash it themselves. As I keep doing that, it reinforces in their memory. I tell my daughters not to sit on uncle’s lap when he comes around, and even when uncle asks to carry her, she should smile and tell uncle she is a big girl, with this act she will understand that she also has a role to play in protecting herself in every situation.”

Lenu Dumedam, psychologist, said that sex education over the years have been a topic of controversy. “While some parents strongly believe that children at three years are too tender to learn sex education, other parents acknowledge they are shy to discuss such issues with their innocent children.

“I want to reiterate that sex education is of utmost necessity during the formative stage of children – from birth to age five. Once a child begins to identify members of family, walk around, say parts of the body, it is very essential during that period to feed the child on sex education, three years I would say is perfect, though relative, based on the development rate of the child.

“Sex education is in levels; just as our children learn mathematics of one plus one from Nursery one, we also need to enlighten them on sex education based on their level. In carrying out this onerous but interesting task, one needs to be careful not to miss the point and purpose,” she added.

Patience Nwakaego, an educationist, said “When the child begins to grow into a teenager, you must make your child your best friend. Give them reassurance that you remain their number one confidant. Let them freely discuss issues about their feelings and friends with you. Endeavour to pay special attention to their stories, do not be too busy about other issues, and always let your child feel relaxed with you. You must not talk them down when they are struggling to be very honest about their emotions with you.

“The best time to inculcate right sexual knowledge might be while you discuss random issues, switch back to the issues you last discussed; advise them on why they must appropriately guard themselves against premarital sex which has the potency of marring their purpose in life if they are not careful. Another classic way to achieve sex education for adolescent is during movies. When adult scene pops up, that is not a time to ask the teenager to close his/her eyes, fast-forward the scene, or pretend you do not know what they are doing. Cease the opportunity to ask your adolescent child what they are doing, their answers will guide you on how to advise them on human sexuality, emotional relations, responsibilities and so on.”