Nowadays, women are seeking financial independence and building careers for themselves. How do such women balance their careers and motherhood? Daily Trust on Sunday writes.
Unlike the olden days when women depended on their husbands financially, the tide has changed as many of them now make positive efforts to secure and build careers for themselves. They are no longer bound to the cultural belief that a woman is only meant to take care of the home – the husband, children etc.
In Nigeria, women have been able to position themselves in fields that were previously dominated by men, such as politics, finance, technology etc.
However, naturally given to women as a responsibility is that of motherhood, and it comes with its own pressures.
A woman is expected to play a critical role in training the child, attending to the needs of the child (physical, emotional, mentally), and still ensure that the entire household is catered for. Combing such responsibilities with a career can sometimes be draining for a woman, especially those who do not get assistance.
A study conducted by Bryan Mcintosh and other professors showed that motherhood has a strong impact on career progression for women. The study also concluded that a career woman with many kids is most likely not to progress so far in her career as her attention will be torn between her responsibilities at work and home, especially if the children are still young.
Angela Odia, an accountant who spoke with Daily Trust on Sunday said her job often kept her away from her child. “My job is tasking, but I want to be able to give my best so that I can win promotions and other benefits.
“It is not easy to be a mother and also give your best in the office. To be honest, I put in more hours in the office than I do with my child,” she said.
She, however, said although she was not able to spend enough time physically with her child, she puts measures in place to assure that she gets the best care.
She said, “There’s a driver to pick her and drop her off from school. There’s a trained nanny at home to take care of her when I am at work. She has a lesson teacher who comes three times a week to tutor her, etc.
“Because I have been able to put all these things in place, I don’t feel guilty when I am work, or when I have to work late hours because then I am assured that my child is being taken care of. On days I have free time, I engage myself and my child in activities that will help create a bond and cover up for the time I wasn’t available.”
Angela revealed that she was not comfortable with the maternity terms at her office as she was given only a month as maternity leave and was expected back in the office as soon as possible. “Luckily for me, I had accumulated my leave days and added it to my maternity leave to be able to give me time to take care of myself and the baby before handing over the childcare to my mother, ” she added.
She frowned at the narrative by many organisations that a woman who gives birth becomes less efficient at her duty because she will be distracted. “I find it appalling that instead of organisations to create more suitable conditions for pregnant and nursing mothers, they are more worried about the woman’s efficiency after childbirth.
“As a career woman, I can tell you that when you are willing to pursue both career and motherhood, you are bound to make plans to cover up your absence in a child’s life, just to make sure your career stays afloat,” she added.
She also noted that balancing motherhood and career is more difficult when the child is young, saying, “As the child grows older, he or she starts becoming responsible for themselves, which will in turn release some stress of you and allow you to focus more on work.”
Angela advised that women should not be ashamed of admitting that sometimes there is no balance between their career and motherhood. She said, “It is hard trying to fit motherhood into a professional live. It doesn’t mean you can be good at both. However, there are days you would be required to put in more effort in one commitment as compared to the other, and that shouldn’t make you feel bad, as both commitments are important to you.”
Eugenia Ndukwe also told Daily Trust on Sunday that due to the kind of duties assigned to her at her former job, she was not able to fully commit to her motherly duties.
“Pursuing my career affected my duties as a mother. However, having a supportive husband and family members really helped a great deal.
“I had my two kids when I worked as a personal secretary to a senator; and it was the most trying moment of my life. I lived below average due to low income, lived in the suburb, far from the office while I attended to my highly demanding job. In fact, I did not have time to dedicate myself to my motherly duties.
“At the time I had my third child, the public sector had become more considerable in relation to nursing mothers while the private sector had not. In fact, the child bearing experience at that time made life almost depressing.
“When I was working in the public sector, I was able to get three months of maternity leave, but in the private sector it was one month, which, to be honest, I felt was not the best,” she said.
Mrs Ndukwe added that given the responsibilities of her previous job, she had very limited time to attend to the needs of her children. “I spent very limited time with my kids because I was only available on Saturdays and Sundays.
She is, however, grateful that despite her busy schedule at work, her children were catered for. “That was possible because I had the support of family members who lived with me and supported my domestic responsibilities,” she explained.
Another woman, Onyinyechi Aaron, who has been building her administrative career for a period of time, said that an easy way of balancing career and motherhood is deciding to see the latter as a lifestyle rather than a task or job.
“Being a career woman doesn’t give you enough time to be the best mother, nonetheless, it is important to find a balance between both, so that your child can get the best,” she said.
She also disclosed that although she was comfortable with the maternity terms at her place of work, she wished she had more time to be with her child. “Yes, the maternity terms in my office are workable, however, I needed extra time to spend with the child; but I still needed to resume immediately as there was no one to keep on covering for me.
She said that due to her workload, she was not able to attend to her child’s needs as much as she would love to. “Despite my responsibilities, I can boldly say I am able to attend to the needs of my child. However, I am not able to do as much as I would want to,” she said.
