How to conquer fear

The Chambers Dictionary defines fear as the anxiety or distress caused by the expectation of danger or pain. It is also defined as an emotional response to a perceived threat as well as being a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger.

It is regarded as one of a small set of basic or innate emotions like joy, peace  and happiness and is a vital response to physical and emotional danger.

There are positive sides to fear as well as there are negative sides to it. Fear could help us to protect ourselves from danger as well as pose danger to us.

Very often, we fear situations that are in no way a threat. Theodore Roosevelt aptly described it when he said, “there is no greater hell than to be a prisoner of fear.” Indeed, fear could be an imprisonment and many of us live in this prison every single day of our lives. We are afraid of waking up for fear of the challenges that await us. We are afraid of stepping out of our homes for fear of whom we might see first and if the person spells good or bad luck for the day. We carry the burden of all sorts of fears in our hearts even when there is no need for such.

“Traumas or bad experiences can trigger a fear response within us that is hard to quell. Yet, exposing ourselves to our personal demons is the best way to move past them.”

One cannot begin to imagine how much fear limits the way we think and things we are capable of achieving. In his article entitled ‘Enlightened Living’, psychologist Michael J. Formica spells out the relationship between fear and joy. He said, “we live in two minds – fear and joy. Mostly, we live in fear. That fear is manifested as our everyday anxieties where we find ourselves living in the regret of the past, or grasping at the future. Joy is manifested in presence – that point at which we shed the past, let go of the future and are just there, where we are, in that moment.”

Many of us live a fear-driven life whereby our thoughts, decisions and actions are predominantly inspired by fear. Author of ‘Living in Fear’, Dr. Tim Ong explains that the driving force in a fear-driven life behind most thoughts and actions is fear of something. This, he says, may be fear of death, fear of loneliness, fear of poverty or fear of pain.

He adds that, “this fear leads to a belief in one’s own mortality, in a sense of isolation and a sense of scarcity in life, resulting in the fear of death, loneliness and poverty respectively. The more fearful we are, the more we feel the need to control our lives by controlling nature and everything else so as to avoid death, loneliness, poverty and pain.”

Ong explains that, “Fear can paralyze us into inaction. It can numb our emotion and thoughts, resulting in poor decisions and judgments. It impairs our insights. Any decision that is made out of fear tends to lead to more fear and separation. Instead of being all-embracing, it is divisive and self-centered.

“In the absence of love, there is fear. Trapped in our ego, we feel a sense of separation from the oneness of all things. In this separation, we feel lonely and insecure, and therefore fearful. Fear is therefore due to the loss of our oneness with our true essence.

Fear, abstract as it is, can be very real and almost physical if not checked. Most times, there is no need for the anxiety fear brings us, but as humans we provoke it.

One fact we need to realize is that we cannot overcome fear except we are willing to take the first step to doing something you are afraid of doing as Oprah Winfrey portrayed when she said “Whatever you fear most has no power – it is your fear that has the power.”

Fear, they say, can motivate blind, counterproductive action, and at the same time, it can also promote clear-eyed reasoning. We need to stop living in our self-created cocoon of fear and break it open so that we can live out our desires.