About a decade ago, female-owned online communities in northern Nigeria emerged. With women from the region as primary followers; these digital platforms have since served as avenues for these women to speak up, vent and seek help when necessary.
Though online communities have been in existence since the advent of social media, the impact of such communities on women in the North is peculiar because of the culture.
These online communities include the ‘Northern Hibiscus’, ‘Hausa Room’, and ‘The Northern Magazine’.
In this report, Weekend Trust spoke with some of the women who shared their stories on how the online communities they engage with impact them.
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Experiences with digital spaces
Though it was hard to meet with these women physically, our reporter reached out to some of the active followers through direct messages (DM) and was able to schedule virtual interviews with them.
Maryam Idris, who is an active follower of the Northern Hibiscus and Northern Magazine, said the two platforms have enlightened women like her and enabled them to know their worth and also understand that they have a lot to offer. “These spaces have been places of healing, empowerment, and solidarity for northern Nigerian women. They also serve as safe havens for us to unburden our hearts,” she said.
Also, Khadija Abubakar speaks on the advice on marital and other everyday life issues she gets from some of these platforms. Though she was initially attracted to these online communities because of their “fashion, lifestyle and wedding” contents, she has gained a lot more than just being entertained. Acknowledging its impact on her and other women, Khadija added that “they engage their followers by creating discussions on trending topics that Arewa women would be interested in,” she said.
According to Khadija, what has made these online platforms gain large followership is the ability to make women feel comfortable to ask questions, share secrets, dilemmas, and pleas for help, adding that sometimes women ask for assistance “in DMs (direct messages) and once it’s posted on the page, people render help,” Khadija explained.
This process sparks active engagement within the social media community. People in the comments section respond to the posted messages with empathy, solutions, and similar experiences.
Firdaus, another avid follower of these blogs on Instagram, told Weekend Trust that the communities have created a “supportive and empowering space where northern women can seek guidance, share experiences, and participate in light-hearted and meaningful conversations.”
On the 28th of June 2024, Northern Hibiscus asked followers to share a valuable lesson or insight they had gained from being part of the community. One user (female) said “For me, I would say the power of having a community of people you can call your own and people you can be yourself with. Northern Hibiscus keeps proving to us how powerful and amazing it is for us to come together as one.” Other comments mentioned sisterhood, empathy, opportunities and “premium gist”.
For Zahra Suleiman, the decision to seek therapy was pivotal. Despite suggestions for different therapists, Zahra said she “doubted the chances of getting people to understand what I was going through because of the cultural differences.”
Soon after her online sessions began with the “Northern Therapist” Zahra expressed that her initial fears of cultural differences and being misunderstood were gone.
Six months post-therapy, she feels a profound shift. “I live more in the moment. I am more appreciative of life. My siblings joke that I’ve turned into a philosopher,” she said with a laugh.
For Zahra, the connection with her therapist was key. “The catch for me was having therapy sessions with someone of the same religious and cultural background. I got exactly what I was looking for, and she was so relatable,” she emphasised.
In Nigeria, like in other societies, the dominance of patriarchy has been known to relegate women’s voices. This is captured in the words of Sumera Mehbood, founder of the Mechanism for Rational Change (MRC) – a non-governmental organisation in Pakistan. “For so many decades, women everywhere have not been allowed to talk much. According to social and cultural norms, women should not be too talkative, women should be on one side, and women should be at home. Men are the ones making the big decisions for them,” she said.
Interestingly, the presence of these platforms is helping to change the narrative. Now, more women are becoming more vocal and aware of their rights with the help of the sisterhoods they have built online.
The online platforms
These blogs, like Northern Hibiscus, Hausa Room, Northern Magazine and many others, have become safe spaces for northern women. Though it is not possible to ascertain the ratio of male to female followers, but engagement-wise, women are the most active participants on these pages.
Aisha Falke, the founder of Northern Hibiscus, considered northern Nigeria’s first popular Instagram blog, told Weekend Trust why she decided to start the blog in 2015. She said reading blogs like Linda Ikeji, Instablog, and Bella Naija, to rest and unwind, after a long day, made her realise that “We didn’t have anything like that for Arewa (the North). The issues we face in the North are quite different from those of the South – so I decided to start Northern Hibiscus,” she explained.
While explaining the behind-the-scenes work they do at Northern Hibiscus, Aisha Falke told Weekend Trust, “On a daily basis, we get about 200 DMs, and then we get to post one or two”. “It’s about understanding the community and giving them what they want,” she added.
Maryam Hassan, founder of The Northern Therapist, told our reporter about how she had to embed “a touch of culture and values to cater for our own community.”
She added that the idea to begin online therapy was born during the 2020 COVID-19 lockdown, so people could get the help they needed either as a couple, or pre-marital therapy.
Operating virtually, according to her, was more convenient for her clients, as women neither had to seek permission from their husbands or parents, nor did they have to explain to people who might not understand and they could remain anonymous.
“Some people were concerned about their identity, some did not even want to use WhatsApp because it would reveal their names,” she said.
Maryam explained that from her therapy sessions, she has gathered that infidelity, polygamy and finances are some of the most dominant issues that northern Nigerian women constantly battle with. There are group chats for various women to discuss these issues, and as a result, they become part of a community where they can be heard and appreciated.
“We have communities for married women alone, we share inspirational stuff with them. We also have communities for single women – we do the same thing there,” she said.
Virtual community
Sabeeha Zainab Hussein is a medical doctor, social media influencer and founder of Chai with Soulunravelled, another safe space for women. ‘Soul Unravelled’ is a pseudonym that Sabeeha often use to share her poetry anonymously.
Amina Kyari, a member of the Chai community told Weekend Trust that she got to know about it through Sabeeha’s Instagram page. “I felt the need to join a community with women that I could open up to – now the rest is history,” she said.
Amina said the sisterhood has taught her how to manage her thoughts and emotions and be more mindful. “I have learned how to handle stress with more grace and I feel a sense of inner peace now,” she said.
“I had been battling with some mental health issues and I couldn’t open up to anyone, so when I joined this community, I opened up to them and it was beautiful. They were supportive and they encouraged me to get some therapy,” she explained.
“I have learned so much; from self-care to Islamic thinking. One of the key lessons I have learned is how to maintain a balance between my career, family and spiritual life. I have also learned how to set healthy boundaries – I did not know how to do that before,” she said.
Though the Chai community is a global one, Amina acknowledged the life changing impact this online community had on her.
“I have met women from diverse backgrounds and each one brings something unique to the table. We support each other in many different ways; we always remind ourselves about the bigger picture in life. It really feels like I have found a second family,” Amina said.
Zahrah Bello has been a member of the virtual Chai community since early 2021; she eagerly looks forward to the monthly events and has never missed a session since the first one she joined. According to her, hearing others’ stories made her realise she was not the only one going through the things she went through.
In an exchange of messages, Zahrah explained to our reporter how Chai has helped her mentally and emotionally. “It has been an amazing journey with strangers who have turned into sisters. I got a lot of help from people I met in the Chai classes when I was dealing with self-doubt and depression. They helped me get out of my pain and loneliness,” she said.
“The discussions often centre around putting Allah first, self-growth, empowerment and the importance of striving to do better in all aspects of life. I have learned how to prioritise Allah in all aspects of life, to focus on development, and to continuously strive to improve. The most significant thing I have learned from the other women is that you cannot give from an empty cup; your cup has to be filled before you can pour into others – whether it’s your spouse, your children, your family or your friends,” she said.
History of female owned online communities
It was after the 2014 kidnap of about 300 girls in Chibok Local Government Area of Borno State by Boko Haram that Lola Omolola, a Nigerian-American activist, founded Female in Nigeria (FIN) in response to the incident. FIN is a private group on Facebook that has about five million members. It started as an online community where women could vent and also find support in times of tragedy. Due to its international reach, “Female in Nigeria” has rebranded into “Female IN” to reflect its diverse community.
This Facebook group gained traction because it was considered a non-judgmental place where women shared personal stories on issues including domestic violence and health, among other heart-touching experiences. From its inception, Female IN has been an online space where women worldwide connect.
Lola Omolola in an interview, spoke about social media’s role in creating a platform where she could amplify women’s voices and create a supportive space for them. Since then, several other virtual communities and online initiatives for women have been established.
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