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How do you handle a lying friend?

It’s a hard fact to accept, but friends lie to each other regularly. But then the real challenge lies in how you respond when your friend becomes a pathological liar. How would you handle it? LifeXtra finds out.

 

Little lies are part of life. Now and then, we all have to deal with someone being dishonest. And at one point, each of us has had a moment when we’ve bent the truth, no matter how small it is. On the other hand, we’ve also experienced the act of being lied to.

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Many of us would agree that when a close friend lies to us about something big, it can hurt. Hence we’re left wondering what to do. We ask ourselves questions like “Should I confront the person and try to work past it? Should I gloss over it? Am I sure enough that they’re lying, that it’s even worth confronting them on? However when the lies are told by a very close friend and it becomes regular, how would you handle it?

LifeXtra sought to find answers to these questions and we got interesting answers.

Chey Castle, a movie producer, simply said “Ditch her. What’s there to handle? You only handle your kid because you can’t exactly throw away your own child. But you can throw a friend, please.”

Jos based baker, Debbie Chrystal Macaulay, told LifeXtra “A lying friend is no friend at all. I’ll talk him/her out of lying but if it doesn’t work, I’ll let him/her go.”

“A lying friend is no good at all. Once discovered, I never take them seriously for my own good,” said Benedict Amama, a digital strategist.

He added “I keep a reasonable distance so I do not live with regrets, and in reality the degree of friendship sours from my end, it goes from friends to just hellos.”

Speaking on why people lie, Abuja-based fashion designer Shulammite Excel reiterated that “Some people lie to make themselves look good or to get what they want, while others do because they actually believe what they’re saying.”

The article ‘How to Respond When You Find out Someone Has Lied to You’, by Jack Nollan stated “You see, a lie is never told in pure isolation. Someone will have a reason for lying, even if those reasons may not seem very reasonable. And, as much as we might not like to admit it, we all lie pretty much every day of our lives.”

“These little white lies are unfortunate, but they are a general part of social interaction and getting to know a person.”

The article added “A lie told by a friend will hurt more, although the severity of the wound inflicted will depend on whether they are a casual friend or a really good friend.”

Another article “How to Deal with a Lying Best Friend” co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC added “Figure out their motive. People lie for different reasons and it’s usually not clear-cut. Though your friend’s lying may have hurt you, which may not have been their intention. Think about the underlying goal behind the lies.”

It added “Reflect on your own actions. Your friend may have lied due to extreme pressure or influence from you or someone else. To see if this is the case, look back over your behavior before the lie. Did you do or say something that influenced the lie?”

 

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