Her just desserts

I walked into the sitting room expecting to see Tahir fast asleep. That’s because the TV was off and he was stretched full-length on the settee. But he raised his head the  moment he sensed my presence and before I could say  a word he quickly said:

‘At last, a place where men’s rights are protected.’ He announced, showing me a page from the newspaper he was holding.

‘Men’s rights are protected?’ I repeated questioningly. ‘But why would anyone want to protect your rights? Men’s rights are hardly ever violated. You rule the world Hubby dearest, we are the ones that need protection.’ I argued.

‘That’s only what you led us to believe Bint. But we know for a fact that women are the true leaders of this world, and we thank God that countries like UAE have laws that can reduce you to your deserved level.’ Tahir replied, sitting up. ‘Look at this story’ he continued, handing me the copy of Aminiya newspaper he was reading. ‘It says a woman got sentenced to three months in prison for invading her husband’s privacy.’ He added.

‘Three months in prison?’ I echoed, taking the page from him. ‘But these Arabs are crazy. How can you keep a married woman away from her home for three months, who will look after her family? And what invasion of privacy are they talking about? Should there be any degree of privacy between a husband and his wife?’ I asked.

‘Just read on Bint. Your questions will not be answered by your querying me like that. But just to whet your appetite, she has a habit of opening her husband’s phone and reading everything she saw there. Apparently she does that when he is fast asleep because she knows his pass code. And in the process she often transfers private  stuff from his phone to hers. In short he has no privacy at all in his life. So he took her to court. Luckily the judge is well aware that men’s privacy is sacrosanct in the UAE, and so he handed the overly curious lady her well-deserved three months term in her Rais al Khaimah jail.’ He concluded.

‘But this so unfair. I mean I do not support a woman prying into her husband’s phone, diary or other personal stuff but surely sending one to prison is taking things too far. I mean a strongly-worded warning from the judge can do the trick without her being sent to jail.’ I protested.

‘Do you think they haven’t tried it? I’m sure the husband has issued countless warnings that didn’t work that’s why he resorted to taking the matter court.’ Tahir countered.

‘Yes, that’s possible but I’m talking about the judge now. Coming from him a stern warning would have stopped her from her extremely curious ways. That’s why I think the prison sentence is blowing the issue out of proportion.’ I insisted.

‘I do not expect you to agree with me Bint. I mean all women have that curious streak in them. You want to know what we are doing at all times and what we have in the bank through the alerts and who our friends are, etc. But there in the UAE they don’t believe you people have that right. So there, you can keep your opinions of the judge’s harsh sentence to yourself. It won’t make a difference.’ He teased.

‘I know it won’t, but I assure you that this particular husband will regret his decision to get his wife imprisoned. It’s when he gets back to an empty house and realises that it will remain empty for at least 90 days that he will realise his error. Even if there are no children to care for and console over the absence of their mother, a wife is a valuable companion, he will definitely miss her company and housekeeping efforts.’ I argued.

‘And you think he never thought of that before taking her to court? I believe that, to this poor man, anything is better than continuing to suffer in a marriage that you are constantly being spied on. He wanted her to be stopped by all means and luckily for him his country’s laws have a provision for that.’ Tahir enthused.

‘Would you have done the same to me?’ I asked, totally amazed at his insistance.

‘Yes, if you did the same to me and if we have a similar law here.’ He replied.

‘You mean it wouldn’t matter that the kids will miss me and would blame you for it?’ I demanded.

‘No, it wouldn’t because luckily for me our kids are old enough to know the meaning of privacy. Even Little Bint has a pass code for her phone, I heard you asking her the day you wanted to use it. So all of them would understand why I got you jailed if you were ever to behave like that Arab woman.’ I explained.

‘In other words there is neither love nor loyalty in your dictionary and you want to teach the same to my children.’ I said, accusingly.

‘No, now you are taking my words out of context. All I’m saying is that this woman got her just desserts and all women like her deserve the same treatment. It’s a deterrent against their awful habit of constantly prying on their husbands and making their lives hell. That’s just my point Wifey dear. That’s just my point.’ He answered, with a mischievous smile.