Her governor has lost his back

–    I am pumped by the news I am reading.
–    Whao, what is it about?
–    Resignations my friend, resignations.
–    Has the president resigned yet?
–    You mean the NUJ president?
–    Why would the NUJ president resign?
–    I know of many reasons. So many journalists are working without pay. But recently I understand the union endorsed Liebaron Maku as candidate governor of Nasarawa state. I know you people give bogus awards to questionable characters just for crumbs. This is why your news is not worth reading, it stinks. It reeks of beer, insensitivity, inaccuracies, inconsistencies, incongruities…
–    Chaie!
–    Unions should work for the welfare of their members, and professional unions should deal with proficiency.
–    Well, in other climes they do but in Naija, stomach infrastructure is the first rule of survival and gifts blind the eyes. We would never have known that the man they endorsed left his ministry without paying the salaries and allowances of the workers.
–    Who told you that?
–    The poor chaps were protesting on the day the man was supposed to hand over. Is that how he intends to run a state? By paying himself and starving his staff?
–    Maybe you should go and stand at his campaign ground with a placard.
–    No. I don’t have to do that, I am telling you now that we are watching.
–    Unfortunately you are watching in vain.
–    How do you mean?
–    In Naija, people do not vote based on sentiments.
–    This is not sentiments.
–    I tell you, no campaign of calumny can stop the rise of a man who has been endorsed by his party to carry their flag. So stop bellyaching. You see resignations, I am interested in revelations.
–    What revelations?
–    They are coming. That time when purchase vouchers are declassified and we get to see and know the cost of a governor’s bed.
–    Beware of such revelations. They are not altruistic.
–    Maybe, but if I slept on a N50 million bed I’m of dreaming of heaven.
–    You should wake up and deliver those from hell.
–    Resignations or revelation. I think I love both.
–    Me too.
–    But the president must be very lonely these days.
–    How can the president be lonely?
–    Well, his best hands are leaving him.
–    No, he is planting them on higher grounds.
–    It may seem like that now, but power changes things.
–    You’re right, honeymoons like all good things soon come to an end.
–    A lot changes when people sip the content of the intoxicant called power. It makes loyal servants get the truth behind the idea that a lean freedom is better than the fattest servitude.
–    Maybe you’re right.
–    Once they erroneously tag themselves thief executives of their states that is the plumage they need to defy the swing of the murmuration. Just watch it, there will be surprises after the elections.
–    That happens, but the resignations are increasing by the day, the latest is the presidential liaison officer. He has left to pursue the Kwara guber race.
–    No vacuum is created even if half the cabinet resigns. Except you think of saving their salaries. Ours politics is so wasteful we have three ministers in a ministry where one suffice. You can see that the cabinet shuffle is exactly what it is – a shuffle and nothing has changed.
–    In the spirit of the season Mama Peace has dropped her coveted title of Permanent Secretary Extraordinary Plenipotentiary to Bayelsa State.
–    I can’t laugh.
–    I heard she has endorsed Nyesom Wike to take over her home state. Our elders say that when a dog has tacticians behind it, it can hunt down monkeys. I wouldn’t like to be in Seriake Dickson’s shoes right now. I hope he has invested in renovating some prisons in case he ends up in one. He shouldn’t have let his personal ego get the better of him.
–    If I were him, I would rush to Okrika and get all the nobility to appease the goddess on my account before it is too late.
–    Chiaie!
–    That resignation is sign that the man is no longer loyal, and when your loyalty is called to question, you are disposable. But it would have been good if being dispensed of is your only trouble. No disloyal servant goes in peace.
–    You mean the governor should watch his back?
–    No, her governor has lost his back.
–    Chiaie!
–    Yes, and when an organism loses his back N50million beds are small matters.
–    But in everything we’re doing, diaris God o!