Helping your child find balance in life

Children are very smart and sensitive to changes around them, even if not as effective as adults can be. Have we as mothers sat to look at the number of nannies we introduce into our children’s lives at their very tender age?

For some women, changing nannies is as easy as changing diapers. Indeed, some kids before they are two, they would have gone through five or more nannies. These women tend to forget that these different nannies are different individuals that come with their own different identity and views of life, thereby introducing new things and ways of lives to the child.

“Kids are smarter and they learn how to manage adults in their lives quite fast and that is why we need to be careful the rate we introduce people responsible for their well being into their lives. Since these nannies spend more time with them they will naturally follow their way of life and instructions but when you these nannies are been changed too often they will be clash of identities and this isn’t good for the child,” says Rukaiya Muktar, an educationist.

Introducing a new nanny could also affect the nutrition of your child Ajoke Adegoke says. “A well trained nanny should know how to cook but introducing different nannies into your child’s life will only alter his diet because every nanny comes with her own culinary skills. No two people cook the same. At the stage at which nannies are responsible for kids, parents lose control of what their kids eat. They feel it’s the responsibility of the nanny to make sure they get the required balanced diet which most times the nannies are not aware of. Nannies tend to cook what is convenient for them and not what is expected of them.” She said

Children begin to lose self confidence with frequent changes of nannies. “The child who has different nannies introduced to him even at every year will surely have self confidence issues. He will feel the parents don’t have time for him and even at that different people keep coming in to rule his life. He doesn’t know how to express the pains and ends up in tantrums for every new nanny that comes. His tantrums are not just for fun but for the stress of getting to know and follow the rules of a new nanny all over again. With this kind of trend the child will grow up having self confidence and identity issues,” says Adobi Okoye, matron in one of the government schools in Abuja.

The frequent change in nannies in a child’s life sends a signal that you as a parent cannot be trusted. This is not to say that if you find something wrong with a nanny you shouldn’t try to correct it. But if we keep changing nannies then the child grows up with they believe that you as a person cannot be trusted to make a definite decision in life.

We need the trust and confidence of our kids as it regards nannies. Both your nanny and kids should be able to express whatever difficulties they might have relating to each other and it is also important that you try to resolve whatever problem they might have. This way you are teaching your child the essence of relating with people who might not be necessarily in the same class or category with him/she in life.

Most importantly as parents caution should be taken on how we address and communicate with nannies that are responsible for our kids while we are away. The way we talk and relate with these nannies is the same way the kids will want to relate with them. If we have a negative relationship with the nannies then you can be sure that the kids will also have a negative one with them. And this does not only stop here but the kid will also grow with that kind of orientation that you can talk nasty to those who work for you.

Most importantly we should understand that nannies spend more time with our kids. So it is important we study and understand the type of nannies that we entrust our kids to because since the kids send more time with them, there is the likelihood of their orientation and characters impacted on the child. Frequents change of nannies automatically results in an identity crises and finding a balance in life.