H.E. replies his sister

I moved in to have a closer look. Some people had finished reading and had moved away, so I was able to move closer and read the letter. It was neatly typed on His Excellency’s personal letter-headed paper. It stated:
“My dear sister, it is with regret and against the advice of my aides that I am writing this reply to your letter. Even though you were crying and swearing by the holy book that you were not the one who wrote that irresponsible letter to me, I do not believe you because all the stories that were told in that letter, you had been heard to be saying them at various places. Even our Mum told me on several occasions that you had been telling her the same things over and over again.
From the time when you were growing up as a small child, I knew you to be an ingrate. Even our late father used to say so, that whenever you were given a sweet or cake, you will fall to the ground and cry that it was not enough for you. I am not surprised that you have carried that irresponsible attitude into your adulthood. You are saying all these things in order to spoil my good name and destroy my bright political career. Maybe you were sponsored by my political opponents to destroy your own brother.
You descended so low as to describe my daughters, your own nieces, as full of themselves because their father is the governor and you said that is why they cannot get husbands to marry. Is there anyone who is more full of herself than you? Remember that our Mum pleaded with you innumerable times to go and live with her. She is staying alone in a big house with only house helps and she wanted you to go and stay with her. But because of your big head, you said you must come and live with me in the Government House.
You know that there are six of us who are of the same mother and we have two other sisters and a brother who are of the same father. Of them all, including those of them who are younger than you, none is living with me in the Government House. It is only you, because of your big head and your being full of yourself. I hear stories about how you go to the school and boast that your brother the governor did this and did that. Truth and lies, you combine all of them together in telling your braggart stories. 
You said I did not put you in a private university but I put my own daughters there. Who will waste his money and put you in a private university? What score did you get in WAEC and NECO even though you went to the same private secondary school as your nieces? You flunked every subject. English, you failed; Mathematics, you failed; Islamic Studies, you failed; common Home Economics, you failed. I saw my PA going up and down to Minna. I asked him what he was doing there and he said it was First Lady that said he should go there and see if NECO officials can improve your marks. I warned him not to try it again. You wanted to scandalize me, so they will say it is governor who is bribing NECO to change results.
With that your useless result, who will put you in a private university and pay millions of naira per term? With your poor grasp of English, will you even know what the lecturers are saying there? How many times did I tell you to be serious with your books? During this ASUU strike, was it not television you were watching every time? Your nieces will be doing their assignments but you, you were only watching Kannywood movies. You know every actor and actress in Kannywood but you have never read even the Constitution of Nigeria, though you said you are studying Political Science.
You said I did not give you money when you were going to Dubai with the First Lady, that she collected your estacode. Are you a government official? Who will give you estacode? For your information, it was our Mum who said I should not give you any money because you are a grade one profligate. Last year when you went with your school’s Press Club to Cotonou here, we heard about how you were splashing money left and right. You gave your fellow students the impression that I am a thief, that I am stealing government money and giving it to my family. People said you entered every shop in Cotonou and spent lavishly, that you even went to the place where they import tokunbo cars and you inspecting them. That is why Mum said if you are given money in a place like Dubai, maybe you will not even come back home.
The fool that you are, you said I did cabinet reshuffle and removed your fiancée because I did not want you to get married. That man was the worst commissioner in my cabinet. He was a thief. He stole money meant for hospital drugs and when he heard that we were going to invite EFCC, that was when he started going to see you, saying he will marry you. First Lady told you not to collect anything from him but because you are very greedy, he went to Amigo and Silverbird and filled a whole box for you. When I sacked the idiot, did he come to marry you again?”
Just like last time, there was amazement all around. People were saying, “His Excellency wrote this kind of letter? Where did he get the time? He descended to the level of a young girl? Where is their mother? She allowed them to wash their dirty linen in public?”