God when?

Years ago, I knew a Naija woman in Belgium, let’s call her I., who cleaned homes for a living. She earned around eight euros an hour. Her husband also did a minimum wage job at a factory, so he wasn’t earning much more than her. This couple lived well. They visited Nigeria often; it was almost as if Naija were a walkable distance and they didn’t have to pay for the trips.

They were also, always expensively decked out. Every time she was complimented, she replied with a saying that translated to that she was born to enjoy good things regardless of what the world thought. I assumed they saved really well. Some said that her husband had played football in Nigeria and had a pot of money, and they really didn’t need to work, they were just keeping themselves by doing so.

We were friendly enough that she would come visit me – we lived in the same city. Just before we moved abroad for two years, she came to see me. Her skin glowed. Her fingers dazzled with rings. She said she was going to Nigeria, and when she returned, she and her husband were going to buy a brand new Range Rover.

I teased her about their pot of money in Nigeria, and she laughed and repeated her stock phrase about being born to enjoy good things. In the two years we were away, I didn’t keep in touch with her, but as soon as I was back in the country, she was one of the people I attempted to reach. To cut a long story short: she was in prison in the UK serving time for a drug offence. The story I heard – she never told me – was that she had tried to smuggle drugs from Nigeria into the UK and was caught at Heathrow.

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I haven’t seen her in a long time, but I know that after she served her term and returned to Belgium, her husband divorced her and took sole custody of their two children who were toddlers when she was arrested. He claimed to have had no idea she was into drugs until she was arrested (a claim I don’t believe but that’s beside the point). I’ve been thinking of since I read the report of a 35-year-old woman caught at the Murtala Mohammed Airport in Lagos with over 10 kilograms of cannabis hidden in multiple bags of dried vegetables she was attempting to smuggle into Doha (where per reports, she lived).  I have been thinking of greed, illusions, and mostly of the ubiquitous “God when?”  that follows stories of success, or what appears to be success.

I have written elsewhere about my irritation with “God when?” rather than “God how?” The former is focused on the end product rather than on the journey, and that is dangerous. It not only fosters a culture of materialism but also perpetuates a mindset where the end justifies the means.

When all that matters is the (perceived) success, then it doesn’t matter what one has to do to achieve it- smuggle drugs, kill for get-rich-quick rituals, kidnap, rob.  It leads to even parents telling their adult children to do whatever it’d take to be as wealthy as the neighbour’s daughter or son who just bought a luxury car for their own parents.

We must transition from ‘God when?” to “a mindset of “God how?” – one that prioritises integrity, persistence, hard work, and ethical conduct in pursuit of goals. It’s a reminder that true success lies not only in achieving one’s aspirations but also in the manner in which they are attained.

Wanting to live the soft life isn’t bad, we are not all called to a life of religious mortification. However, we must be mindful of how we go about achieving it. Just as important is to remember that all that glitters isn’t gold. Or to paraphrase the brilliant Anne Lamott, do not judge your insides by someone else’s outside. The cars, the photos on social media, the motivational posts: most na packaging ooo. Folks are curating their lives for you, and some of it might very well be false. If you buy the hype and want it, then ask how, not when.