The problem is the way most couples easily give up and throw in the towel and opt for a divorce. This will definitely not solve the problem instead it would add more problems. For instance, children from broken home suffer roundly. For some women, it would become if not impossible, but very difficult to remarry. And if the man eventually marries again, the kids he would be taking to the new home would probablynot find a level playing ground with their step mother.
There are better options but certainly not divorce. Though the Holy Quran says if all avenues have been exhausted, then the only way out might be a divorce.
Many marriages are made out of pressure, convenience or simply out of carelessness. A doubt you have before getting married should be cleared before the big day. It is never wise to get married to please others. You must understand that anything that makes you feel uncomfortable before the marriage will not go away after the marriage. It will only cause strain and stress in the marriage and will ultimately destroy it.
Today’s marriages are found of ending in divorce. Most people feel marriage is the start of a relationship and divorce is the easy way to end it but this is not true. When taking vows marriage is supposed to be a sacred life long pact. A marriage that is to last a lifetime, is one that takes a lot of care and consideration on the part of each spouse.
Many divorces are caused out of laziness or lack of interest to make the marriage work. With the rampant cases of divorce in our society today; any one concerned about keeping his or her marriage alive must learn how to work towards avoiding a divorce. To overcome this lots of patience and compromises have to be made.
Divorce is usually the end of an accumulation of negative events in the lives of a couple. It could range from a relationship that is devoid of trust, respect, love and justice amongst others.
The effects of divorce on a person could be devastating and it has the tendency to affect every part of that person’s life and even subsequent relationships. Though, we can’t deny the fact that some marriages are doomed to fail right from the very start of it, due to faulty foundations. But then in any case divorce in most cases is an avoidable evil. Some of these people who opt for divorce see the divorce option as “their issue” but in actual fact it is an issue for all because it affects everyone around them especially the kids.
The kids are the most affected in the situation of a divorce in the family. Some kids can’t go through the hurdles of divorce with little effect on their lives. They tend to understand what is going on with their parents and try their best to deal with the situation the best way they can. In reality these parents are killing their kids spiritually, emotionally and psychologically.
Dr. Olushola O. Brenes who is a Child Development specialist says “divorce cuts deep into the child’s whole world. A child’s emotional dislocation from divorce is profound, often permanent and even sometimes reaches into future generations”
He pointed out that the life we live as parents creates a bench mark for normality in our child’s mind. They will subconsciously try to duplicate what they see from us in their adult life. Divorce teaches the kids that the family is not a secure place and it is not a stable, secure and loving place. It also affects our child’s self worth and vulnerability.
Rakiya Hussain, a mother of five and guidance counselor says “Good marriages are not made from heaven they are made right here on earth between couples who have love and respect for each other. A failing marriage is not always doomed to end in divorce. The marriage can still survive if the couples are both willing to give the marriage a second chance. Acknowledges are taken that it will be a difficult and trying process, but at the end you will find out that it was worth the pains and trials”
In trying to save your marriage you should not allow the marriage to get past the point of no return. The following are tips to revive a failing marriage, learn to listen and compromise. Listen to your spouse and consider the issue being discussed from his or her point of view and if you find out that you can not agree with his point try to compromise. Even though in some cases whatever he or she says doesn’t add up or you find out that behind everything he says there is always a lie. In this instance the best thing is to just let go and live life the best way you can.
Try not to make divorce an option in resolving marital crisis between yourself and your partner. Anna Ogunleye a relationship expert says “the first mistake most married couple make is going into a marriage thinking that there is always the option of a back door exit, a divorce”
As a final point we can not stress the importance of trying again and again and not giving up easily. It will be difficult but it is worth it if you have to avoid a divorce. If not for anything give your marriage a second chance to work for the sake of your kids, your marital stability is the foundation of their future.
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