As a parent, I am saddened by the horrific story coming out of the United States about a couple who chained their 13 biological children to beds and denied them food while torturing them and beating them for decades. The kids as we now know were allowed to bathe only once a year. Incredible but true. The children between twenty-nine and two years of age only got respite when their 17-year-old sibling escaped and called law enforcement. Their neurological function is destroyed and they have very little cognitive function while their physical structure is muted as a result of malnourishment. It would seem that the story came out of a horror movie. It is devastating. While the case is still being investigated, let’s not pretend that these things can only happen abroad. They are happening every day in our neighborhoods, in our families and in our communities. It’s easy to go along when children are described as difficult and unruly but no one really says much about parents who are mean to their children and they abound. Parents, step parents, foster parents if you tell a child that they would never do good in their lives, it’s an act of violence which can emotionally scar the child for life. Whatever happens in someone’s childhood will affect the child forever. Check the story of dictators and terrorists, there usually is something in their childhood that simply led them to becoming anti-society. Every act of kindness to a child adds a layer of stability and resilience. Too many children live with their parents or step parents and are honestly very sad, some, inches away from suicide. It is our hope that these 13 broken children are properly healed. Parenting has no manual and what applies to one child does not often apply to the other. There are no parenting manuals and a lot of what we learnt were from our parents. Lots of wisdom, lots of hands on learning, role models and prayer. Therefore, my recommendations today culled from Miranda Taylor are concerned with How Parents Think about their children and create the right environment for wholesome growth. Parenting is a hands-on business and if you are not going to be at least 90 percent present in their development, then do not bother having children. I have read many books on parenting but I find this collection absolutely brilliant. The books are just for support. A book does not raise a child. It just helps with ideas and certain expertise. With the backdrop of the 13 children in the U.S and unfortunate children like them all over the world, here are five books for thinking parents.
1) Fun on the run, 324 instant family games by Cynthia Copeland. Author of the amazing Really important things my kids have taught me, has written this fantastic parenting survival guide. As parents it can be hard to keep young children still while driving, waiting to see the doctor etcetera. This book which is full of fun activities at a moment’s notice will help you give them something to do in minutes. Because they get so bored, these activities will keep them still and still give them fun while learning. It has super quick games to fill the need of every parent of young kids. It is also family friendly. A great book for when you are at your wits end. Highly recommended.
2) Mind in the Making, seven essential skills every child reeds by Ellen Galinsky. Most young parents today are overwhelmed by parenting and have no idea that parenting does not take place in absentia. To bring up a wholesome child to adulthood, parents must be fully part of the journey. Galinsky gives a fantastic line-up in this book about the essential skills children need. They include; self- control, making connection, self- directed, engaged learning, perspective taking, and communication. Others are taking on challenges and critical thinking. Be sure to take a highlighter and a notepad when reading this book. It will open your mind to those things you need to instill in your child for life if he or she does not already possess them.
3) Different Learners by Jane Healy. This book reverses all those trends offered in most parenting books which suggest formulaic parenting. Jane explains that children are individuals not robots and therefore must not be treated as such. There are no one size fits all mechanics for bringing up children as most parents think. All children are different and you cannot apply the same thing that worked with your first child with the middle one. They are all so different. Read this book carefully, think deeply and apply as appropriate.
4) Nurture Shock by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman. This is an interesting book that gives us scientific proven positions about how children evolve and can be affected by their environment and their relationships. This includes but is not limited to sibling relationship, motivation and abuse. These thing produce the adult you get in the future. One must be careful how these relationships pan out and how abuse or motivation can either deliver a depressed broken child or a wholesome well rounded child.
5) Einstein never used flashcards, how our children really learn…and why they need to play more and memorize less is written by three highly credentialed psychologists, Michnick Golinkoff, Dianne Eyer and Kathy Hirsh-Pasek. This is a powerful book that tells all parents the benefits of play and how playful learning can produce a genius. The authors offer a compelling indictment of the growing trend towards accelerated learning. They let us know that learning through play is not only better but it’s okay. They show scientifically proven results that children with a creative learning environment instead of drilling academics do better in life. They bring forward their own research and that of others to prove this. They also offer 40 games that can help parents achieve a more conducive atmosphere for what children are yearning to learn. A gem of a book.
