Finding positivity in criticism

Criticism comes in many forms. It can be polite, constructive, harsh, or plainly rude. The way you choose to use criticism determines how it affects you. We all receive negative criticism from time to time.  Whether it is from our boss, peers, subordinates, customers, spouse or just a friend,  someone shall definitely tell us how we might have done better and it is then up to us to learn to use it to our advantage in our career or to build self-esteem. Do not get hung up on negativity.

Some people feel it is their duty to criticize everything about everyone. If you have one of such people in your life, be prepared for the way their words might affect you and how you can equally forge ahead despite their negative remarks. Know that you owe no one anything, so no one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself or what you do.

At our workplaces, employers are not always good at delivering constructive criticism, but chances are that your boss is not simply a mean person or means to deliberately hurt you emotionally. He may really be trying to tell you ways to improve without realizing how it sounds. Using criticism to your advantage is a process and skill that you must learn to develop on your own if not you will only end up being depressed by every slight negative remark that comes towards your direction. It is a fact of life that sooner or later we are going to face some criticisms, both in our personal life and in our career. Criticism in our career can be very hard to take since our careers are so important to us. However, the way we handle criticism can help define other people’s perception of us. The first thing to remember is that not all criticisms are bad.

Turning hurtful criticism into something good is of great advantage to you and your well being. You are the only person who can decide how people’s words affect you. Instead of getting angry, hurt or depressed, choose to let the words energize and motivate you. Do not let criticism shake your self-esteem or paralyze you. Instead, decide whether it is a valid criticism, use the helpful points and disregard the emotionally charged pieces which might have been said out of frustration and mere jealousy to inflict emotional pain on you.

Salisu Abdullahi, professor of sociology, ABU, says “Understand that criticism is an opportunity for you to re-evaluate yourself and improve. Every critical analysis you receive is an open door. When used wisely, it will improve your output”.  Decide whether you have been criticized based on factual information about yourself or whether a person is criticizing you because they’re insecure with themselves. Recognizing negative commentary for what it is will allows you to ignore it and focus your energy on helpful criticism.

Criticism can really be hurting sometimes. Even words from strangers in a parking lot may cause distress. We can dwell on those words for hours, take them personal and overreact, or we can learn from them. Criticism can be deflating and self demoralising but it can also be inspiring.  The simple trick is to learn how to tell which criticisms are worth taking to heart and which are just said out of unjustifiable jealousy.  Helpful criticisms spur you to do more of whatever it is you do, and to do it better. We cannot control whether or not we are criticized though we can control how we respond to it. We can live through criticism without being devastated. We can even learn from criticism and make it work to our advantage.

So next time you find yourself being criticised, do not lose your cool, just keep your head and keep calm and turn the experience into a positive one.