Esther Aisha Kwande has been married to Yahaya Kwande, former Nigerian Ambassador to Switzerland and APC chieftain, for 47 years. In this interview, she talks about her husband’s strong bond with his children, his romantic side, and how he loves to dance. Excerpts
Daily Trust: How did you meet your husband?
Esther Aisha Kwande: We met first at the Ministry of Internal Affairs and Information where he was the Permanent Secretary then and I was the receptionist. I took care of his tea and other messages and from there the relationship blossomed into marriage.
DT: How would you describe him?
Kwande: My husband is a wonderful man. He is a father, husband and friend to me. He is kind. He asked me to stop work after we got married and he has been taking care of me ever since. He is understanding despite the fact that we are of different faiths; I am a Christian and he is a Muslim, but that does not bring any misunderstanding between us. It isn’t that we don’t quarrel, we do but we always reconcile. I know many marriages of people of the same faith who when they quarrel, the wife will pack out of the house and then people will settle the misunderstanding between them. But since I married him, not even once has such a thing happened, and it is because of understanding. By the grace of God we have been married for 47 years now, since June 10th 1970.
DT: What is his favourite food?
Kwande: It is tuwo and draw soup. Mostly, he likes tuwon shinkafa, tuwon masara and acha. He doesn’t like egusi soup, sometimes vegetable soup, yes, but mostly he likes any kind of draw soup.
DT: What kind of books does he read?
Kwande: He reads all kinds of books; from newspapers, story books to biographies. He is an avid reader who also likes to read books about influential people.
DT: What is his relationship like with his children?
Kwande: It’s very cordial. He loves his children and doesn’t want anything to harm them. I am stricter and even say to him sometimes that he spoils the children. He pets them. If they are not doing well in their studies he encourages them until they complete their education.
DT: If he weren’t a civil servant and politician, what other career do you think he would have excelled at?
Kwande: Initially he was a civil servant before he went into politics. He is now a farmer. He has a lot of farm lands in Kwande so I believe he would have gone into farming and succeeded.
DT: He seem to be always joking, does he get upset often?
Kwande: He doesn’t get angry easily but when he does, it’s not nice; it takes time for him to cool down. One of the things that upsets him is when somebody says something about him that is not true or if something happens suddenly to any of his children, he gets so worried and upset, I try to pacify him and atimes he gets surprised by my attitude and say, “you behave like a witch (laughs) why is it that some things don’t shake you” and I would say, well if it has happened, it has happened let us just calm down and leave everything in God’s hands.
DT: How does he relax?
Kwande: He relaxes by reading; sometimes he lies down in bed and just read.
DT: You two tease each other a lot, is this something that is more of his personality or yours?
Kwande: Honestly it is something that grew over the years, he likes to joke a lot and I am also the same. We even tease one another’s religion; I sometimes make fun of his faith and he does the same to me.
DT: Is he the romantic type?
Kwande: Oh yes, he is, very. I am the opposite, I mean it. He is more romantic than I am and he used to be surprised and say what kind of a woman is this, didn’t they teach you how to be romantic and I would ask ‘who will teach me’. He is a very romantic man, this man you are seeing and even now in old age (laugh), he is still very romantic.
DT: What aspect of his personality is hidden to the public?
Kwande: He talks too much, he doesn’t mind talking from morning till night, he doesn’t get tired and he likes dancing. Is it the kalangu (talking drum) dance, his tribal dance or English dance? Oh he dances! This dance, cha-cha-cha you know, my husband dances it. It is these past few years that I started dancing because the children are getting married and in Church during praise and worship. But my husband can just put kalangu dance in the room and start dancing alone (laugh).
DT: Is he a sports fan?
Kwande: He likes tennis but he doesn’t play it now. He just likes to watch it on TV and his favourite player is Serena Williams. I call her his girlfriend. When he starts watching her play, I always tease him that his girl friend has yam legs.
Join Daily Trust WhatsApp Community For Quick Access To News and Happenings Around You.
