Femi Fani-Kayode: The hysterics of a loser

One of the biggest losers of the 2015 elections is on the loose again. Femi Fani-Kayode; disabled by the loss of hefty pocket allowances and cheap housing in Abuja, courtesy of the former “largest party in Africa” which invited him to “come and chop”; troubled by ethnic chauvinism and religious bigotry, bereft of the job of official spokesman of a doomed presidential campaign, politically down and on his way out, is beginning to imagine and see evil.
In the middle of this month, an article written by Femi Fani-Kayode was published by a national newspaper under the heading: “The 9th Earl of Bathurst and the Nigerian state.” In it, Fani-Kayode pompously claimed that he went to Harrow School in the United Kingdom alongside one Allen Christopher Bertram Bathurst. Fani-Kayode also claimed to have been outraged by the assertion of the Bathurst of a man in 1985 that “Nigeria is a toilet of a country where evil reigns”, such that the two of them nearly exchanged blows. 
In Fani-Kayode’s imitative, uneducated and paralysed reasoning, it was “the British (that) established a faulty foundation for Nigeria from the start……The Nigeria they handed over to us in 1960 was nothing but an unworkable artificial state.” But if Fani-Kayode had imbibed the hard lessons of “the best private school in the United kingdom”, he would have known that there has been no perfect union on the face of this earth; nations are built through “blood, toil and tears.” To an extent, every country is artificial; nations are built by patriots, not hangers on who once they get an appointment, everything becomes fine but when they are kicked out of the corridors of power, they conjure disaster for their motherland.  
Fani-Kayode imagines that if “you force two incompatibles with completely different world views together into an unhappy marriage, lock the gates of the house, throw away the keys and bestow leadership upon a ‘poor husband’ to rule over a ‘rich wife’ in perpetuity, you are looking for trouble.” The question is whose world views are incompatible? Who locked the gates to which house? Who threw away which keys? Which husband considers himself poor and which rude wife is it that deems herself rich over and above her man? Which South is “well educated, enlightened (and) progressive”?  What really is “well educated” about Asari Dokubo, Gani Adams, Tom Ateke and Tompolo? Despite attending “Harrow School, the best private school in the United Kingdom” alongside his classmate, “the 9th Earl of Bathurst”, Otunba Gani Adams, the carpenter, has more followers than Femi Fani-Kayode; in fact, nobody follows Fani-Kayode.
Time, the recorder of all misdeeds, has proved once again that going to the best school in the United Kingdom or anywhere in the world doesn’t necessarily confer the best scholarship or knowledge on the student. On 12th March, 2015 under the auspices of the so called Jonathan Presidential Campaign Council, Femi Fani-Kayode had shamelessly declared that in return for some ill-defined support from Europe and America, Muhammadu Buhari had agreed to scrap Nigeria’s anti-gay laws and make lesbianism and homosexuality lawful.
Fani-Kayode was wrong on Buhari’s health, incorrect on his religious philosophy, mistaken on his ethnic solidarity, erroneous on his school certificate and wide of the mark on Buhari’s chances of a decisive victory in the 2015 presidential election.
The crushing defeat of Goodluck Jonathan and the extraordinary victory of Muhammadu Buhari are bound to disorientate Fani-Kayode. Since the Jonathan loss, the devil has led Fani-Kayode to see it that Nigeria is founded on evil. Eventually, Nigeria may have to restructure but our most urgent need at the moment is an honest leadership, because as the Babangida, Jonathan and even Obasanjo administrations illustrated, this country cannot be restructured under the guidance of deceitful helmsmen.
Nigeria is where it is precisely because of the attitude of the likes of Femi Fani-Kayode for whom a camel can change into a weasel on the strength of an appointment (or lack of it) into government. Fani-Kayode is back into nothingness, he can’t pick the bills for his lavish life, he therefore dreams of an Oduduwa Republic where he hopes to get free lunch and continue as an attack dog. Here is a man that changes his name at 54; clearly, Fani-Kayode is distressed by unfulfilled personal wishes
Fani-Kayode can continue to see “violence, bloodshed, dashed hopes, lost opportunities and shattered dreams”; he can continue to see an “unworkable artificial state….destined to fail from the onset.” Fani-Kayode can continue to grieve for lack of “national referendum” prior to the formation of Nigeria; he can continue to imagine that Nigeria will go the way of “Sudan, India and the nation that was formerly known as Malaya” and how those countries “were compelled to break up into smaller entities” but nobody can force Nigeria to break up.
Unlike Femi Fani-Kayode, I see a tranquil, prosperous and esteemed Nigeria at peace with its citizens and neighbours.
Nigeria cannot break up simply because Fani-Kayode has no presidential campaign committee to speak for; Nigeria cannot disintegrate simply because Fani-Kayode has lost his office and gone back to joblessness. In fact, only a bitter jobless person like Fani-Kayode will continue to remind us about the disintegration of Sudan, India and Malaya and nurse such wish for Nigeria. Nigeria will not break up; Nigeria is different; Nigeria will remain united; Nigeria will endure for the simple reason that its citizens want to remain together notwithstanding the current challenges of nation building. Nigeria will become strong because it is led by Muhammadu Buhari. Nigeria doesn’t owe Femi Fani-Kayode anything.