Educating Seyi

Seyi Awolowo, Obafemi Awolowo’s grandson, a psychologist and a BBNaija star, said in a video clip that trended over the weekend that he was training his son(s) to “run train” on other men’s daughters.  I don’t know what led up to that remark but there are some things that no context excuses. To “run train” according to the slang dictionary is for multiple men to have sex (consensual or not) with a woman. This is his idea, I guess, of how to ensure that he raises sons he would be proud of. Yikes!  

Of all the ambitions to have for your sons, this has got to be one of the stupidest. Fortunately, lots of people on social media pointed out the misogyny at the heart of his statement, if not the criminal foolishness.  

Truly, wisdom has really little to do with age or level of education. In the words of my mother, how does anyone open the mouth with which they eat yam and cocoyam, and spew nonsense? Maybe we should start having folks take aptitude tests before they become parents because how do you open your mouth and say that you’re raising your son(s) to be sexual assaulters? And at best to be users of women? Tufiakwa!

I do not only worry for his son, I worry for his daughter (Google says he has one of each). This isn’t a man that is qualified to be a parent because what lessons is he teaching? What values is he instilling in them – his son and his daughter – if he thinks that women are there to be used by men?  Does he realize that his little girl is “someone’s daughter”? Does he want a future where men treat her like he’s hoping his son treats other people’s daughters? He is not envisaging/building a future where his son would be a useful member of the society but rather one where he contributes to a culture that objectifies and devalues women? Where he proves his masculinity by being toxic? Double tufiakwa.  

Seyi’s comments demonstrate a disquieting and reckless disregard for mutual respect and consent within relationships. It is this disregard that is at the core of the sexual assault culture in Nigeria. A 2020 Amnesty International report states that “rape continues to be one of the most prevalent human rights violations in Nigeria.”

Not that long ago, a clip of a man who threatened to rape a PHCN worker for disconnecting his power went viral. This man undressed in public. He did not seem to care that someone or multiple people were videoing him and swore to rape the PHCN employee if she didn’t release his wire. “I want to rape her, tell them I am raping, I want to collect my wire,” he said to bystanders. Like Seyi, he did not think that there was anything wrong with what he was saying/threatening to do. The witnesses to that incident, like the folks Seyi was addressing, didn’t call him out on it (at least not in the clip I saw).

That Seyi Awolowo could say what he did on TV, that he did so,  so cavalierly;  that a man could threaten to rape a woman in broad daylight and begin to undress so casually, even beckoning to bystanders to bear witness,  that there are folks who support Seyi’s words are reminders, if ever one was needed, that the work of educating society and raising awareness on sexual assault and the culture of misogyny that enables it remains. We are called to remain vigilant.  

Our women, including Seyi’s daughter,  have a right to safety from sexual predators – at work, on university campuses, in their homes, which was why it was heartening to see the number of people who took umbrage with Seyi’s comments online once the video surfaced and swiftly took him to task.

That one of the most visible and earliest parties to condemn the very careless, irresponsible talk is a government agency gives me hope that things are changing (and also hope that Seyi would listen). With any luck, there are sensible people close enough to him he’s embarrassed who will make educating him a priority. If not for his sake, then for the sake of the babies he has brought into the world and the ones he still hopes to have.