Don’t undervalue yourself

Due to lack of confidence and self esteem, many of us tend to undermine and under value ourselves.
In a lot of ways, many of us are self-suppressive of ourselves said, Miss Adaugo Ogwu. Speaking from a business woman’s angle, the hair dresser and makeup artist said, “When we don’t express our true selves it is not likely that we will attract the right customers and clientele. It’s a tough world out there that we are exposed to and at the beginning we are all scared of it.
“But to move on we need to decide for how long we want to remain afraid or how soon we want to take the bull by the horn and face the challenges ahead. It was a decision I had to make on my own at some point because I didn’t want to stay in my safe cocoon.”
The twenty eight year-old added that, “Gradually, I began to have courage to express myself and my work. I found out that being able to do so gave me the boost and urge I needed to step up my game.”
“Living a fear-centred life is a major element of undervaluing oneself which many of us are guilty of,” said Hussaini Ango. The father of three said, “Most of us live in constant fear day in, day out. We walk around afraid of everything and blaming everyone else for our ill luck. We never see beyond problems and so stay stuck with the mentality of being victims.
Ango said, “It’s only when we move from such a state of mind and then take responsibility for our lives that we will begin to see positive changes and may of us are not willing to do this because it is risky and could be uncomfortable.
“In spite of the fears, the truth is that if we don’t make this move we will be consistently undervaluing ourselves and that is exactly the same way the rest of the world will perceive us.”
He added that, “If after these efforts, we still do not get our desired results, the onus lies on us to do something about it. That we do not succeed initially is no reason to write ourselves off and presenting ourselves as failures. We should keep at it until we get there. This is a simple but very efficient advice which I have applied to my life.”
“For a very long time,” Juliette Uwadiale said, “as a university student, the kind of thoughts that occupied my mind were, ‘is she better than I am; is she more intelligent than I am; is she prettier than I am’ and other such thoughts. Even when the first answers that popped in my head were that I was better or at per, I would convince myself otherwise.
The microbiologist said, “These conclusions also manifested physically in the way I talked about myself and regarded myself before others. Gradually, I really began to do badly. It took my parents intervention and proper counseling to get me back on track. What is most important is that I go back on track because I opened myself to begin to value myself and see things differently and better than I did.
“Interestingly, there are a lot of us who live our lives based on our comparisons of others and what they have better than us. This shouldn’t be the case. ”
According to Michelle Mayur, in her article on identifying signs we undervalue ourselves, when we don’t know what our real needs are is a problem. She advises that we take a piece of paper and a pen and write down 10 of what you feel your main personal needs are, completely irrespective of what you or others think they should be. This can include mental, emotional, physical and spiritual needs. Now read through that list and tick all those needs that are being met already.
The founder of the Heal the Healer global community said, “Using the list you created above, in a different colour, tick all your needs that other people already know about and are honoring… If there are very few ticks, then it is time to work on speaking up assertively and letting others know exactly what you need, or you will continue to suffer in silence. This leads to unnecessary miscommunication, frustration and resentment.”
Mayur said, “Some of the signs to beware of if you are not putting yourself as your number one priority will be such things as saying to yourself that you will exercise if you have time to, after completing the day’s to do list; giving others the choice foods and settling for lesser quality for yourself; feeling guilty about doing something you enjoy just for you; or allowing work to be the main focus of your life.”