Ama and Bill (not real names) have known each other for eight years. They went to the same school, were in the same department though Bill was two years ahead of Ama. Their friendship went from just being a platonic one to a serious relationship.
Ama was from a wealthy home as her dad owned one of the biggest automobile companies in the country. Their relationship met a brick wall when Ama took Bill home to her family and introduced him as the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. They scoffed at the idea because they all saw him as someone who was only interested in their wealth. But Bill, on the other hand, truly loved Ama and she knew it.
What would Ama do? Was Bill really a ‘gold digger’?
The scenario above happens almost every other day around the world. We live in a society where it is assumed that every ‘poor’ man who wants to get married to a lady from a wealthy background is a gold digger and vice versa.
But does getting married to a wealthy spouse mean being a gold digger? LifeXtra sought answers and we got interesting and varying opinions.
Chika Precious Ozoigbo responded with an emphatic No.
Buttressing her point, she stated that it can be both ways. She said “When a man marries a rich woman or a woman marries a rich man, they both complement each other. Ninety per cent of poor people are lazy. Dream the best and work for the best.”
Also speaking to LifeXtra, Victor Goni, a Kano resident, said “Yes if that is the primary reason.”
Speaking further, he added “Everyone loves someone for a reason. Take out that reason and our love for them can never last a while. That alone is equivalent to being a gold digger. If she loves you for your money and doesn’t have something equal or greater to offer in return, that is a different scenario. But when she is everything you want and all she loves is your money, you will be too blind to notice that she is a gold digger.”
He concluded, “Even if you are slapped to get your senses back, you won’t mind giving out all your money just to have her. Besides being hypocritical, we all have a price.”
Ayoola Mudasiru, a writer, says “There is no black and white answer to the question because it is all about the motive behind the marriage.”
Chichi Mildred, a Nigerian resident in Accra, Ghana, told Lifextra that a person’s financial status is just an added bonus.
She says “Maybe if the gold digging means someone that is wealthy, then fine. If not, I don’t think it is right to tag someone a gold digger because the person is marrying a wealthy spouse.”
Chichi added that “There are different intentions for different actions and decisions. Getting married to someone you love is awesome, then the person’s financial status is a bonus.”
Muhammadu Aliyu, a trader, responded with a No.
He said “Traditionally, marriage is an economic institution which is aimed at conserving as well as increasing wealth.”
Buttressing his point, Aliyu said “In many parts of the world, even in Nigeria, families prefer suitors to prove their ability to provide for their families. Given that most of the world is traditionally patriarchal, that means that suitors are male. So, being wealthy is being eligible.”
He added that “Being attracted to wealth is actually being conservative.”
Aliyu argues that “if people can be attracted to intelligence, or piety, or beauty, then being attracted to wealth, which is just another factor, should not be singled out and demonized.”
Aranu Mai-Lafia, an Abuja-based entrepreneur, responded thus “If you married him/her just because of that, then yes, such people are gold diggers.”
Emmanuel Odeh, a student, asked “Who would marry someone who just wants them for their money? What about when you lose the money?
“That is why I believe it is good to be friends with the person you marry because when the love dies, the friendship can keep you going during hard times,” he stated.
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