Democracy has no meaning in Africa

I’d been wondering who gave the Sudanese the audacity to dream big and kick out their dictator, Omar alBashir. Africans watch too much television and if you stay too close to illusion, you start thinking its reality. People who watch too much television soon start believing the things they see there. In Sudan, somebody hiding under their smart device, gets a brain wave and starts talking human rights and democracy. The people buy into it and start dreaming of a gadget-inspired revolution.

For years, alBashir was the saviour of Sudan, a very good man who led Africa’s largest country. He ruined his country with an iron fist although he only carried a swagger stick or a cane. He never caned anybody on the streets of Khartoum, his body language helped others do that dirty job for him. In military terms, that is called loyalty – ask Muhammadu Buhari.

Our president has no time for anybody. Ask Raymond Dokpesi whose media empire – Raypower and AIT were shut down last week on the orders of the No-Buhari Bashing Corporation, NBC. Dokpesi is a recalcitrant opposition figure that offered no apology for allowing his business name to be associated with Buhari bashing either before 2015 or after. If he had crossed over, his sins would have been forgiven him.

Buhari had nothing to do with the closure. He is too unhappy imagining why ungrateful residents of the FCT cast their votes for the opposition when he had saved them from annihilation. These FCT ingrates would have suffered seriously if they had met Buhari the dictator. Imagine the Commander-of-Chiefs asking his freshly minted IG to go to sleep with his patrol team; or his army chief and his military barracks to play WASA with security?

Everyday as people wake up in the FCT, they should bring their sacrifices of praise to Buhari for not giving them the Zamfara, Borno or Yobe treatment. It is dreadful to fall into the hands of a vindictive ruler – as anyone from the southeast, except a few chosen ones know!

Omar alBashir was a generous man who never made trouble for anyone who did not threaten his regime’s survival. Only UN agencies dubbed him a bad man. He was once enjoying South African hospitality when they surreptitiously came after him. Thanks to a fellow AU brother that hinted him to gather his thawb and hobble into his aircraft before he is Charles Taylored into The Hague. It was a close save.

They claimed that alBashir’s hands were soaked in blood, but not a stain was on his white garment. They claimed he mobilized the Janjaweed militia for genocide in Darfur and South Sudan but he denied it all and wouldn’t play the hero like Uhuru and Ruto.

AlBashir believed in Sudanese unity especially for the oil. He knew the wicked were after him and so; he let the South Sudanese go. Hardly had the ink dried on their document of independence when the new South Sudanese ruiners began to slaughter their own people. AlBashir treated his enemies, a little better. He let his special squad arrange their meeting with God.

When the android revolution swept through Khartoum late last year, alBashir warned his people that they would live to regret it. They ignored the warning and trooped to the streets – just because of the removal of bread subsidy. They should have asked the Naija people. Albashir had nothing on bread, he wanted to use money for better priorities.

The mob did not listen and alBashir was ousted not because he had no choice. Like the late Idi Amin, he could have made it to Saudi Arabia, except that the Saudis wouldn’t let him bring his collection of vintage whisky and gin. Albashir thought he could keep his stash of money and not end up maligned like the clairvoyant Sani Abacha who saved for rainy days.

AlBashir’s enemies bounced him off to prison. But the mob wanted more. General after general stepped aside leaving the worst of them all, Mohammed Hamdan Hemeti Dagolo. He let the mob had their way and waited until the caravan of news moved out of Sudan before unleashing his armed mob on the protesters. As you read, dead bodies are still being pulled from rivers, streams and mass graves and scores are missing. Hungry women complained that they were not allowed to go out and buy non-subsidized bread for Eid.

The soldiers know how to ‘chop and clean mouth’ as they say in Naija. They made sure that anyone with a mobile phone surrendered it or it was seized while some were killed for their gadgets. Hemeti understands that in 2019, power may flow from the barrel of the gun, evidence is stored in the hard drives of android phones.

Hemeti promises a peaceful return to the barracks on the condition that civilians could elect a figurehead within eight months. As usual, the opposition is divided and can’t bite the ‘army arrangement’. There is deadlock on the streets. An unhappy AU, losing a member of the clan has slammed suspension on the council. The gang of clanging pots is calling the kettle black. The people know that with an army arrangement, democracy has no meaning in Africa. The noise would soon die down and Hemeti could grab a thawb and kiss the feet of his benefactor. Best case scenario, Sudan could be walking the corridors of Egypt.