Daring to be you

“This is not the life I envisaged for myself but I am stuck with this and have to learn to live with it for the rest of my life. I pray God gives me the strength” these were the words of a friend, who had always told all who cared to listen that she was not happy where she was.

Life for most people has reached a point where we find ourselves stuck with few choices. Life is stressful because we find ourselves dissatisfied with the way we feel, doing things most of the time that we don’t really want to do, and not achieving the things we actually want to achieve.

As individuals we tend to get swallowed up in situations that over-power us. One must not give in to pressure but face the challenge by daring to be yourself. Most times, being ourselves often starts with daring to displease others to prove a point to them.  This seems to be confusing as what does it mean to be yourself and why must we dare to displease others?

“Many of us live our lives based on the dictates of others. We rarely live life for our convenience and when we try to do so, we are termed as selfish or pompous. I have learnt a lot from the disappointments of human beings and have since decided to live a life for myself; after all it’s my life. Daring to be you could come with its challenges and task but it’s only for a while before people understand that you are just trying to be unique, in your own way. It worked for me and so it can work for anybody. That does not mean one should go about doing nasty things just because one does not want to be influenced. Daring to be yourself should be in a positive way and not the negative,” says Amjeed Buba, a legal practioner based in Abuja.

Wanting to please everyone is a natural part of many people. We need to shake off some of this to really show who we really are. Many more tend to imitate others thereby forgetting the positivity in being themselves. Don’t imitate others. Observe them, learn from them, but don’t try to be like them. Learn their skills but then implement them in your own way and move forward on your own road. Because you are walking your own road, you cannot follow the footsteps of somebody else, nor can someone else walk your road for you. They have their road, you have yours.

“I remember, I tried living a life based on what people adviced me but as I grew older I found out that I never found satisfaction in so many decisions I had taken. I was never able to make a decision on my own without consulting someone then one day, a young girl asked me a question that really touched me. She asked if I would also ask when to have children when I eventually got married. Then I realised that I have to start taking decisions on my own. Imagine this young girl was bold enough to lead her life as she perceived right for her,” said Obinna A. Daniel, an estate manager.

Given the undisputed fact that we are all different, why would you try to be like somebody else? Why change your looks or your body with plastic surgery? Why not be happy with the way you are? We are not just talking about appearances, but also about talents and character. Everybody is unique. While longing for talents you don’t have, you are neglecting those talents that you do have. This is rather counter-productive, You have been gifted with a unique set of talents, so find out what they are and develop them.

Certainly, everybody is gifted with his or her own unique talents. Talents are not only about activities like singing, acting, dancing, painting, writing or excellence in sports. Your unique talent could be your spontaneity, your enthusiasm, your connection with animals, caring for the disabled, your generosity, being a good teacher or public speaker, being a loving community member, or being a good listener. It could be your capacity to love, your natural joy, your brilliance, intelligence, easily assimilating new languages, radiating beauty, eloquence, being funny, kindness, tenderness, and many more.

What matters in the end is for you to be yourself. To be yourself is to find out what your unique talents are. Some of these habits are spontaneous too! Many people are generous or friendly. Your uniqueness lays in the combination of your key talents. Find out what your prominent talents are and how you can put them together. In the synergy of your key talents lies your best chances at success.

It would be a big waste of time trying to be someone else. You are at your best being yourself! The world needs you exactly as you are! Dare to be yourself. The more you dare to be yourself, the more freedom you will feel. The more freedom you feel, the more you progress. Courage and freedom support each other to open your unique chances, in an insatiable quest for success.

You can create a new life, a life revised in small but crucial ways. You need to discover who you really are and avoid the tendency of seeing yourself through the eyes of others. Courage to be you could make the difference in your life.