According to Wikipedia, “criticism is the practice of judging the merits and faults of something or someone in an intelligible or articulate way. It can be directed towards a person or an animal, at a group, authority, or organization, at a specific behavior or an object of some kind, like an idea, relationship, a condition, a process or a thing.”
The question is, does criticizing someone bring out the best or the worst in a person? This week, Lifextra tries to find out how people feel when they are criticized.
Ugochukwu Odoh, a trader said: “Criticizing someone brings out the best in a person, because when you criticize someone, you are indirectly telling the person his weak point which will eventually drive the person to work hard in order to improve on that particular aspect of his life. For instance, when you criticize me, I will feel bad somehow but when I get home I will sit down to reason over everything you have said to me and strive to come out a better person to avoid such statement from you next time.”
For Aminu Hamza, a civil servant, his response to criticism would depend on the situation and the issue at hand: “There is positive and negative criticism, the positive one will urge a leader or an employee to do better and it is based on facts and equally brings out the best in a person, while the negative one is based on your sentiment towards that person. So, it is left for you as an individual to know which one and how to apply it for maximum result,’’ he said.
However, as the saying goes ‘different strokes for different folks,’ there are people who look at criticism from a different end of the spectrum. One respondent, who craved anonymity, is of the view that constant criticism whether in the office, home or in a love relationship, has a demoralizing effect on people. He adds that instead of bringing out the best in them it diminishes the self-esteem of such people.
Commenting on the issue, Cordelia Mayojo Alfa said “no, I don’t think criticizing brings out the best in a person, rather it makes them to be on self-defense side believing that you will never see anything good in that person.”
So it is up to us to bring out the best in others, often we criticize others saying: ‘You are hopeless,’ even when we know that there are also some good things in them. We need to give people some hope to carry on with live and to strive to bring out the best in themselves. Work to bring out the divine qualities in the people around you; take this as your mission.
Dale Carnegie, in his book titled: ‘How to win friends and influence people,’ notes that world famous psychologist, B.F Skinner, has “proved through his experiment that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn more rapidly and retain what it learns more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior, same applies to humans. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment. The resentment criticism engenders can demoralize relationships, family members, friends employees and still not correct the situation that has been condemned.” So whether we do it positively or negatively, we should try to be rational in criticizing others.