Coping with a strenuous boss

A boss has certain control over your most basic human needs—your ability to put food on the table and a roof over your head. These are powerful motivating factors that allow a strenuous boss to control people out of fear of losing these basic needs. We may not be able to always correct their behaviour, but we should never have to live in fear and let these bosses control our lives.

Maybe you have a boss who takes all the credit for himself/herself. Maybe your boss thinks you have no life outside work and makes you stay late in office everyday. Or perhaps a boss who gives out too many tasks with impossible-to-meet deadlines (or is constantly changing deadlines). Maybe your boss is a pathological liar or perhaps plays favourites. Bad bosses can be found in all organisations. Bad bosses are no laughing matter when you have to face him or her every working day.

So, what can you do if you are working for a bad boss? Most people are scared about having a discussion with their boss concerning their abusive behaviour because they fear reprimand or losing their job as a result of it. Their fear is usually justified if the boss is a control freak and feels that their subordinate is threatening their control. Before you deal with any type of conflict, you always need to have a plan B in case things don’t work out. A plan B is the best alternative that you can come up with without having to negotiate anything with your boss. Having a plan B, however, empowers you with the ability to walk away at any time should the negotiation not go right.

Again, never react to verbal abuse or harsh criticism with emotion. When a personal attack is made on you, they are trying to bait you into reacting emotionally, because once you react, you become an easy target for additional attacks. The key then is not to react, but to acknowledge and move on. By doing this, you’ll effectively strip off all the power behind the verbal attacks from your abusive boss without creating conflict.

Never go up to the chain of command unless it’s a last resort. Going straight up the chain of command is not an effective way of dealing with a difficult boss, because it only increases conflict in the workplace. Your immediate supervisor will consider this a very serious backstabbing manoeuvre and might seek some sort of retribution in the future against you and your career.

Make sure you document everything. If you choose to stay with a toxic employer, then document everything. This will become your main ammunition should a complaint ever be filed down the road. You should document interactions with them as well as your own activities, so that you can remind them of your own achievements at performance review time.

Leave work at work. Get into the habit of leaving work in the office and not bringing it into your personal life, because that will only add to your level of stress. Keep your professional life separate from your personal life as best as you can. This also includes having friends who you don’t work with so that you can detach yourself from your work life rather than bringing it home with you.