Co-habiting isn’t guarantee to marriage

The society we live in today sees nothing wrong with unmarried partners living together as a married couple. Some have even gone to the extent of having children. A lady shares her experience and seeks advice. 

“I have been dating a guy for 4 years now and he has promised me and my family that he will marry me. Recently, he asked me to move in with him which I find absurd because we are not yet married. He has threatened to end the relationship if I don’t move in with him. I know God and society do not permit this but his constant argument is that Adam and Eve were never married legally by anyone, so why am I making a huge fuss over his request for me to move in with him.” 

Sadiya Ibrahim, 40-year-old entrepreneur, says “ What most people fail to understand is that the man seeing your parents or relatives or taking a lady to go see his is never the same thing as being married or a guaranty that you are his wife. I will advise her not to give his suggestion a second thought. Instead he should do the right thing by paying your bride price.”

Onyinye Godwin, 39-year-old teacher, says “Most women fall prey to this trick of moving in before marriage. It is one trick that is working faster than even marriage itself. I guaranty the lady in question that once she moves in she can bid her marriage rites good bye. He will be reluctant to pay any dime on her because he must have enjoyed everything he is being asked to pay for and may not find her worthy of the marriage rites anymore. And by the time she realizes that she has entered once chance, she must have had children for him.”

Maintain your stand on saying no, let him pay your bride price first to avoid neglect and insult from him in future. Chastity is believed to be the treasure of a woman, and any woman that loses it also loses her moral rights in all ramifications of life. Let her be wise, there are many of such cases and hardly have I seen one that ended well.” 

Zainab Bello, 40-year-old lawyer, has an advice for ladies who find themselves in such situations. “The desperation that most ladies display these days all in the name of becoming a married woman is worrisome. As Ladies, we should please learn today that carriage is not pride. Moving in with a man does not guaranty marriage and even when marriage happens, it will comes with a lot of negative comment from the man and his people. We should carry ourselves well and not allow anyone cheapen us with marriage plans which he has built in the sky.”