Children & their nannies

As parents, helping our children find a balance in life should be one of our top priorities. How well have we balanced the lives of our children while in the care of nannies?

Children are very smart and sensitive to changes around them, and parents have sought to find out if they are giving or setting the pace for children to find the right balance they need in their lives. Finding the right balance can come in different forms but one situation that has always led children to mixed behavioural changes is the frequent change of house helps.
For some women, they could change nannies twice a year and it continues like that till the child grows up. These women tend to forget that these different nannies are different individuals who come with their different identities and ways of life, thereby introducing new things and ways to the child.
Rukaiya Muktar, a 44-year-old educationist, says: “Kids are smarter and they learn how to manage adults in their lives quite fast. For this reason, we need to be careful about how we introduce people, especially nannies, to their lives. Since these nannies spend more time with them, they will naturally follow their ways of life and instructions but when these nannies are changed too often there will be a clash of identities and this isn’t good for children when it comes to balancing their lifestyle.”
Ajoke Adegoke, a 38-year-old nutritionist, says children lose self-confidence with frequent change of nannies. “The child who has different nannies introduced to him within a short period will surely have self-confidence issues. He will feel that his parents neglect his needs and don’t have time for him. The child doesn’t know how to express the pains and ends up in tantrums with every new nanny. His tantrums are not just for fun but for the stress of getting to know and follow the rules of a new nanny all over. With this kind of trend, the child will grow up having self-confidence and identity issues,” she explained.
The frequent change of nannies sends a signal to the child that you, as a parent, cannot be trusted. This is not to say that if you find something wrong with a nanny you shouldn’t try to correct it. But if we keep changing nannies, then the child grows up with the belief that the parent cannot be trusted to make a definite decision in life, experts say.
We need the trust and confidence of our kids as it regards nannies. Your kids should be able to express whatever difficulties they might have and it is also important that you try to resolve whatever problems they might have to enable them have a balanced life.
Most importantly as parents, caution should be taken on how we address and communicate with nannies that are responsible for our kids while we are away. The way we talk and relate with these nannies is the same way the kids will want to relate with them. If we have a negative relationship with the nannies, then the kids will also have a negative one with them. And this does not only stop at this stage because the child will also grow with the orientation that you can talk down at those who work for you.
Most importantly, we should understand that nannies spend more time with our kids. So, it is vital we study and understand the type of nannies that we entrust our kids to because there is the likelihood that their orientation and character would be impacted on the child. Frequents change of nannies automatically results in identity crises.