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Cheating partners: Who should be confronted?

Fifty-five year-old Mrs. Helen Muazu considers it a waste of time going this length for any man. “Any woman who thinks she can monitor a…

Fifty-five year-old Mrs. Helen Muazu considers it a waste of time going this length for any man. “Any woman who thinks she can monitor a man is just a big joker. It is only a jobless one with nothing better to do with her time that will go about boxing a woman she sees around her man. We should learn to invest our time and energy to more productive things. I have been married for about 23 years and I agree it hurts especially when you have been dedicated to a relationship. But we too should ask ourselves if we haven’t encouraged the men in one way or the other to look out.”

She also asked, “Just what if after going ahead to confront the other person and inflicting these injuries the man says you can go to hell, he will stay with the other woman? What becomes of you and the entire headache you have put yourself through? I feel it is absolutely unnecessary. That lady just may be the reason he can sustain the relationship he has with you.”

Abdul Mailafia does not see any reason why either of them should be confronted. “What is my business with man? I don’t have any problem or business with him. He just might be somebody I do not even know at all why bother the poor guy or my girlfriend? After all, he didn’t force her to date him. She gave her consent that is why any rapport even started in the first place that eventually led them to dating. If he forced her, that’s another situation. I think it is barbaric for anybody to attack another on account of your partner cheating on you. Look at this girl’s case which is only an allegation with no concrete evidence to support it. It is over eccentric.”

Theresa Iroha said, “I will not even bother my head to confront my boyfriend or the other woman because it is a message he is passing on to me as far as I am concerned. He is either tired of the relationship we share or wants to play around. It then falls on me to decide if I want to continue dating somebody who is tired of me or someone who will be cheating on me nonstop. The truth of the matter is if I am undecided about such an issue it will only get worse in the future and end up frustrating me. I would simply walk away and find somebody else.”

On the contrary Ikechukwu Ohaneme sees confronting the other party as an appropriate approach. He said, “I will confront the man and then my girlfriend afterwards. He should know or at least expect that she is in a relationship before going ahead to start another one with her.” When asked what if she kept it a secret from her new man, he fell silent.

With a similar view to that of Ohaneme’s, is Saratu Abdullahi. “I will beat the living daylight out of her. I don’t go after anybody’s man, why should someone come after mine? I will not stab her or do any such thing. But when I am through with her she will not forget me in a hurry.” Regarding if her boyfriend encouraged the relationship to go on she said, “That’s not my business. I will first take care of the obstacle outside then face the problem inside.”

Asking a mind bugging question Hussein Mark said, “Would doing this to a fellow human being be an expression of love for me or what? I don’t think any right thinking man would want to remain with a woman with such animal instincts. Your victim is running away from you and you keep at her; chasing, regardless of the fact that you are pregnant. That Aisha Ali doesn’t love that child in her. I will flee faster than light speed. I don’t want to think about what she would do to me if she got the chance to express her anger. Why should you stab a fellow woman based on assumption that she is having a relationship with somebody you are not even married to or who has not yet indicated any indication of marrying you? It is most obscene and bizarre. The way you women fight over men is something else. ”

Disappointed over the judgment 63-year-old Mr. Isaac Ogah, asked “Why should women hassle themselves over us whether husband or boyfriend to this extent? Some of you are not smart. If I was in your shoes, rather than attack the other woman, I will make her my friend and together we will handle him. It is what I advise my daughter in-law and daughters. Most of us are not just worth the trouble if you ask me. That sentence passed on her is grossly inadequate. She should serve no less than two years with hard labour and be made to foot the bill of that girl’s medical expense. A month in prison or the option of paying a N3, 000 fine does not do justice to that case at all; there should be a retrial.”