In the profound words of Myles Munroe, “Do you know yourself well enough to marry you?” This inquiry sets the stage for a crucial discussion, one that transcends gender and resonates with everyone. Before embarking on the pursuit of Nikah for Muslim youths in Nigerian society, it is imperative to lay the right foundations. While societal norms often portray marriage as the ultimate goal, it is essential to recognize it as a means to fulfil Allah’s purpose.
In the quest for a meaningful Nikah, several fundamental questions must be pondered: Who are you? Why do you seek marriage? Is marriage a necessity for everyone? What significance does marriage hold for you? What type of marital partnership are you envisioning? What unique contributions do you bring beyond traditional roles? Are you committed to continual spiritual and emotional growth?
Before contemplating a lifelong commitment, individuals must engage in deep self-reflection. Understanding one’s temperament, life purpose, self-perception, and views on procreation is paramount. True compatibility in marriage stems from a profound understanding of oneself, establishing a strong foundation for a lasting union.
Procreation transcends mere numerical increase; it involves shaping lives, instilling values, and contributing to a better world. Emotionally intelligent and spiritually aware individuals recognise the significance of parenting education. Genuine parenting goes beyond physical discipline, signalling a shift in the narrative towards holistic development.
Approaching marriage with an educational mindset, specifically embracing courtship education, is crucial. This entails understanding oneself, identifying desirable qualities in a partner, and learning the dynamics of a healthy relationship. Each stage—from wide-ranging dating to courtship, engagement, and marriage—requires intentional steps for growth and development.
Marriage is not a frivolous excursion but a journey that demands thoughtful consideration. Even those who perceive themselves as worthy must relinquish control and place their trust in Allah. Recognising that soulmate relationships are divinely orchestrated by Allah reinforces the need for divine guidance, surpassing human intervention. The Qur’an provides timeless wisdom, emphasising the divine creation of mates for tranquillity and the infusion of love and mercy between hearts (Qur’an 30:21). This serves as a poignant reminder for those contemplating the sacred union of Nikah. The teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) resonate, highlighting that marriage fulfils half of one’s religion (Sahih al-Bukhari). This underscores the spiritual significance of the marital bond in Islam.
Embarking on the journey to Nikah entails a profound process of self-discovery, continuous growth, and an unwavering reliance on Allah’s guidance. By understanding oneself, and approaching marriage with an educational and spiritual mindset, Muslim youth in Nigerian society can navigate the path to a fulfilling, purpose-driven union.
Fahm, AbdulGafar Olawale writes in from Ilorin
