One of my favourite feel-good movies is titled Year One. Featuring fat man Jack Black, it is a parody of what may have happened in the beginning of time; the age of the Early Man. In the movie, Jack Black’s character was the lazy guy who couldn’t hunt wild animals and always had this ‘stupid’ idea that there was something better on the other side of the world, than their idyllic village. At some point he satisfied his curiosity and ate the forbidden fruit, was found out and all hell broke loose in the village. The event I intend to point out happened when he was being prepared for sacrifice to the gods, for committing an unimaginable taboo. As the celebrations towards the human sacrifice wore on, one hut in the village caught fire. Everyone saw that the hut was on fire but shrugged it off because it wasn’t their hut. Of course since huts were built with sticks and straws, the whole village was razed down in a matter of minutes and they all became homeless.
That is the description of primitiveness. A telling tale for the way Nigerians reason today.
When I was in university we learnt as much in Sociology 101. We compared primitive versus modern societies. Apart from the inability to plan for collective living, or for the future, and to see the big picture, some of the distinctions between these two types of societies include the fact that primitive societies indulge in vagueness and ‘anyhow-ness’, while modern societies embrace precision and standards. Another is that modern societies document things (history, events etc), while primitive societies don’t bother. Nigeria is resembling a primitive society more and more these days.
Look at the case of Dino Melaye, the guy who has vowed to set the most infamous records in Nigeria’s Senate. One day during his lucid intervals, he went with some of his colleagues to the Nigerian Customs headquarters and picked a big quarrel with the Comptroller General, for not coming down to the ground floor to receive them. They hadn’t gone for a courtesy call but for oversight, which is supposed to be their routine work. It’s like bank auditors asking that the MD should come and meet them as they alight from their cars. These Senators are not satisfied with professionally doing their work but had to humiliate any and everyone who comes in contact with them in the process. This kind of behaviour only happens in a primitive society. Neanderthals and early men who live in caves in primitive societies are more concerned with drawing rank. Again, the ‘do-you-know-who-I-am’ syndrome is the very death of Nigeria. I was even more shocked at how some of my friends supported Dino’s action and were talking of ‘protocol’ when I shared the story on Facebook. In Buhari’s Nigeria, simplicity is no longer a virtue. The discipline and orderliness we expected from him we never got; instead we got government by impunity and mediocrity. My greatest fear is that after the demystification of Citizen Buhari, hardly will any leader be able to control the mess that Nigeria has become, and will still degenerate into – that is even if the country remains one. We shall see.
But back to the issue of primitive societies and the failure to understand collectivism.
Just as some of my friends supported Dino’s immature arrogance, some others supported another absurd story from the stables of Nigeria’s social media. It was the case of a connected lady (I hear she is the wife of a MOPOL commander), who went to Poly Plaza – one of Abuja’s old, nondescript malls. She went there with at least 5 heavily-armed gun-toting mobile policemen. They shut down the plaza because ‘oga’s’ wife (or girlfriend – whoever she is) wanted to make her hair. Other incensed neighbours had to take a few pictures to share on social media. Some of the commenters on social media dismissed the hoopla and said they will purchase even more policemen to protect themselves from kidnappers. They justified why a single person needed a battalion of policemen, trained with Nigeria’s collective taxpayers money, with guns purchased with taxpayer’s funds, to protect themselves while the rest of society goes to the dogs – all under a government that we thought will reset us, and which daily boasts of its profound achievements for Nigeria.
As I was putting this article together though, I came across a story that a mobile police chief was kidnapped in Katsina State. In another incidence where a DPO (divisional police officer) was kidnapped in his home state, Niger, the Inspector General of Police Idris had this to say:
“We must take the protection of our officers seriously. We have a problem; two days ago, one of our DPOs was kidnapped. How can you be a DPO, you have all the policemen under your Command and then you start driving as if you don’t have anybody… You allow the useless kidnappers to pick you and your orderly, it is very embarrassing. We had the same issue in Zamfara state where an ACP going on leave travelled alone. It is embarrassing… Utilize the men you have and you must protect yourself first. You can only protect others when you are protected because you are a target.”
More next week
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