Caution while staying with in-laws

Amina Alhassan

Every newly married bride gets one form of advice or the other from relatives, friends and well-wishers. Therefore, what is that advice you would give a new bride who would be residing with her in-laws as her matrimonial home?

Joy Attah (38) Accountant: “I would advise that she takes her in-laws as her parents and accord them the same respect she would accord her parents.

“Secondly, I would tell her to be patient, tolerant and love all of them.

“Lastly, she should be a good listener and not a good contributor in the family.”

Rukayat Ibrahim (40) Civil servant: “Why must she stay with her in-laws? that is not a good foundation for any marriage that is to succeed. It is not advisable but if she must stay with her in-laws, then she needs to be patient and learn to have control over her words in that house. For every utterance of hers will count for or against her. It’s never easy to stay with in-laws even when they are educated, it just isn’t right.”

Rahima Bello (39) Banker: “The new bride should talk less, listen and observe more, be humble to everyone both young and old. I give this advice because I have been through it. It’s never advisable to opt for this kind of living arrangement; especially if you are newly married. We are all human and there is no way we wouldn’t cross each other’s path. There is always more respect for the wife if she stays in a separate place with her husband. Every new couple needs their privacy. She should have it in mind that she can never satisfy her in-laws. She should just do her best and leave the rest.”

Fatima Ali (40) Lawyer: “Never discuss your husband or marital issues with any of them. Never engage in any form of gossip with any of them. She should also learn to overlook things and not report every single happening to her husband. It won’t be easy but she has to be strong. Above all, she should be friendly, humble, helpful, prayerful and most importantly, be herself. She should not start what she can’t continue or finish. That being said, I strongly advise that she pleads with her husband to get them a separate place because once they start staying with in-laws, to move isn’t always easy as her husband would have become too comfortable with his parents’ place.

“Remember, no matter how quiet and humble a wife is, she can never please her in-laws as they will always find faults in things she does.”