Being positive about change

Changes are bound to happen in our lives, but how do we cope with such changes when they eventually happen that they do not in one way or the other affect us negatively? Some changes that happen are for the best while some are for the worst. But then, no matter the circumstance, there are effective ways of managing and coping with any eventual change in our lives.

Life, by its nature, determines that we will have to face changes in our lives. Of course, some changes are far more dramatic than others and also some people cope better than others. To many people, accepting the inevitability of change produces stress and physical and emotional symptoms. Most people see change as a beast threatening their status quo, sense of security and need for control.

Change demands that we let go of the security blankets of our past ways of doing things in order to embrace new challenges and opportunities for growth. We have the illusion that we can manage change by controlling our environment; however, change can truly only be managed from within ourselves. Gandhi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Striving to develop an open mind and flexibility in the face of change is the most effective way of dealing with change. By relaxing your hold on the past, you can learn new ways as most of us feel that we can hardly survive once there is a slight change in our lives.

Alexander Graham Bell wrote, “When one door closes, another door opens, but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which are open for us.” Coming to terms with change requires looking at life through new lenses and adjusting your frame of reference. In managing change effectively, what is most vital is having a right attitude with a positive outlook. This would provide the flexibility factor in the face of change.

“Many times, I have been faced with changes in different situations and I just gave up on the whole situation. I was not patient enough to think things over. Maybe if I had been calmer and more enduring, I would have been able to see better things ahead that came through those changes. For I now believe for every change God allows to happen in your life, there is a purpose; it is just left for you to find the door that has opened up for you,” says Biodun Jaye.

For many, it seems like the end of the world. “There have been times when I felt that I could not carry on with life because I was finding it difficult to adjust to change. The change came so drastically and almost immediately. I was used to the good things of life and never had any compassion for those that were managing with life, but things changed and I was placed in the shoes of those that had to beg to survive.

“It was only then that I realised how insensitive and inhumane I had been. I believe there was a reason for the change in my life and I am glad that it has made a positive impact on me. Change always has something in stock no matter what; all we need is to take a drastic look at the whole situation and you will be able to adjust almost immediately,” says Ja’afar Abdul.

“A life without change is one that is doomed. I have come to realise that life is all about change; there is nothing constant in life. Life is really a never-ending spiral of changes, if I can borrow the words. Change in our lives only makes us stronger and wiser. Facing changes wisely rather than running away from them is the best thing you can do for yourself if you ever find yourself in such a situation,” says Binta Ahmed.

To be comfortable with change, we need some fixed unchangeable points of reference. In our world where virtually everything is changing, we are bound to feel insecure and anxious about what the future has in stock for us. Coping with change follows the same process and steps as grieving. If we live in total ignorance of any potential change in our lives, shock is likely the result if eventually change creeps into or occurs in our lives. We must understand that life is full of transitions. As we age, our lives and roles change too.

There are many things in our lives that change and not always in the way we want them to be. Change and transition do not always have to be bad. They could be difficult to cope with at first, but with flexibility, wisdom and tolerance, we can always find a way out. Believe that in every change, there is always a door for a second chance in our lives.

When you think you cannot survive the change, look back at your life and you will be surprised about the changes that you have been able to cope with without paying very keen attention to them. We can survive and strive through change with ease and comfort. Your wisdom on how to handle it is the one constant thing in a world of constant changes and transformation.