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Behold! The new pugilists in town

Right from creation, God Almighty conceived a woman as the weaker sex; an ideology man has fully exploited for decades to his advantage at the…

Right from creation, God Almighty conceived a woman as the weaker sex; an ideology man has fully exploited for decades to his advantage at the detriment of women.  The Beijing Conference of 1995, sermonizing gender equality appeared to have hurried the tide of the reversal of the subservient perception of women even by themselves.
Today, the trite goes that “what a man can do, a woman can do, even better”. And one of its several destructive effects is its negative impact on most marriages and homes as attested by the axiom above. Nowadays, women are professionals in various fields that were hitherto the exclusive preserve of men. They are now   doctors, teachers, lawyers, engineers, pilots, scientists, security agents and so forth.   This has further encouraged some women to inch towards the might of men.
But sadly too, from women membership of these professions, they have as well graduated into battering or physical assault of their husbands in matrimonial homes. There are several of such cases in some courts across the country.
Just last week, a husband pleaded with a judge in court to help dissolve his 10-year old marriage, on grounds that his wife beats him almost on a daily basis. Many in courtroom doubted the embittered husband, until the wife started pleading with the judge not to dissolve their marriage promising, not to beat her husband again.  Really! So, she really beats her husband to stupor in the presence of their four children?
In another magistrate’s court in Oshogbo in Osun State,  a judge was asked to dissolve a 17-year-old marriage over similar  complaint by a husband that his wife beats him up mercilessly for going to church. The petitioner, Mr. Asimuyu Oladosu, told the court that his wife, Kehinde, beats him whenever he goes to church or vigil and urged the court to dissolve the marriage.
It is quite funny, when imagined, but it is a serious trend that needs to be curbed. One can’t help but wonder what would push a woman so hard to vent her anger in such a manner on her husband? 
Violence by women against men is a silent domestic cancer in most homes, which is underreported in most cases. Women more and more tend to be the ones assaulting their spouses. And of course, no man worth his salt   would want his image tarnished by accepting that his wife is assaulting him, hence  our society would perceive him a weakling and would instantly  become a subject of ridicule amongst his peers and  everywhere.
When women are molested in their various homes, and societies much like their innocent kids,  it is  always publicized in various media. However, on sentimental grounds, society always tends to ignore the other side of gender violence where the men suffer similar physical and psychological trauma in the hands of women.
Silent victims of domestic violence, including emotional trauma still exist and ironically, the victims are not women but men.
According to Hajiya Ramatu Ahmed, a lecturer at Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria says “most times society seems to be blind to the idea that women can be abusive and men are always the victims. Most people believe that any woman who goes as far as abusing her husband surely must have been pushed into it by her husband. But come to think of it, what would push a woman to raise her hands against her husband?”she asked.
Mrs. Bisola Adebayo an entrepreneur says “we are Africans and our culture and religion does not give room for such nonchalant attitude. What does such behavior from the woman say of her family? She forgets that she isn’t just a wife but also an ambassador of her family to the rest of the society. What impression is she giving to her children? That the female can beat the man of the house? Come to think of it, which woman does such and still expects her husband to put up with her in the home. No one who cherishes his self -esteem will allow such abuse of his personality to go on for long. On my own part,  I will never have such a person as a friend. The saying that the kind of friends you keep tells a lot about the kind of person you are”
Studies have showed that the abuse of men by their female partners is a real family problem and a serious problem indeed. Men in families with battering wives suffer all consequences of violence.  Abusive wives make more use of injurious weapons than abusive husbands and the rate of women killing their husbands is high enough to demonstrate the destructive capacity of women with such tendencies. Such women usually play the role of a terrorist or tyrant.
Many have argued that ignoring the violence some women portray is contributing to the increasing number of husband –battering victims.
Some men are of the opinion that women and NGO’s are quiet about this trend. “It callous for the so called women feminist NGO’s who agitate for women’s rights to go silent when issues like this happen. If they are sincere about the whole thing the rights of  men as  head of the house should also be stressed. Domestic violence and systematic discrimination against anyone is wrong regardless of their gender” says Bashir Muktar a staff of the Ministry of Information.
Hakeem Hamza, says, “I never used to believe that there are wives who beat their husbands until I witnessed such an instance. To my surprise the husband confided in me that it  has been  his experience  since he married and pleaded with me not to relate it to anyone. I could imagine the kind of trauma he goes through with such a woman as a wife. Husband -battering is for real but most men cannot open up because of shame and ridicule they might experience in the society” he said.
We should also remember that the almighty God has put our husbands in a position of leadership over us. Marriages are bound to have problems but not to that extent. When problems arise you can both learn from your failures and build on your successes. If the husband is the type that needs to be put on the right track, beating him isn’t in any way the best way to put him on track. Believe in God and allow Him to teach your husband through his failures and teach you to trust him. We should try to be respectful wives and be patient in marriage. Husband- battery doesn’t speak well for any family especially not for the woman.
Mrs. Chika Okey a civil servant says “there is nothing to argue about it. In such matters, the man should as a matter of fact leave the woman immediately because she isn’t a human being. Such a woman is an incarnate of the devil.  Beating one’s husband is not only a taboo in African culture; it is equally reprehensible in any religion. It shows the highest disregard for the marriage institution. While a man who beats his wife should be confined to a zoo and forgotten there, a woman who does the same needs a serious mental evaluation. It is bizarre.”