Be obsessed or be nothing!

Do you want to know the single most important factor that will determine the success of anyone you know?

Whether yourself, your children, your colleagues, your leaders or even a stranger, one thing and one thing only can tell you whether they are going to be excellent or average. The predictive power of this variable is so apparent, yet eloquent; after the revelation, you will wonder why you didn’t think about it before now.

But before then, let me tell you one of my concerns about my son.  I didn’t want my son to be like me. You see, I’ve eclectic interests and have degrees and other paper qualifications to back them up. From psychology to information technology to media law to journalism to teaching. But this has its disadvantages.

For many years, I couldn’t answer the question: “what do you do?” without stuttering.

So I didn’t want to subject my children to that situation. I wanted them to take a field of interest and go deep and should be known for that.

First, we counted ourselves lucky because my son was interested in animals. In his first three years of his life, he knew more animals and their characteristics than the accumulated decades his parents had spent on earth.

Then he lost interest in animals. Then he directed his interest to tinkering, making and creating toys from household materials.

While holding these interests, he has an abiding addiction to the TV. Therefore, I wanted something that will shake the hold TV has on him.

I saw a glimpse of that last week: it appears that computer programming will hold his interest.

After installing Kolibri application on his laptop, I taught him how to learn independently from the app. He immediately started with the kids’ version of JavaScript language using blocks.

I immediately knew that this would displaced TV because he latched on to it like a leech. At a point, he requested my help with a complicated set of moves that included an “if statement.” I explained each block to him and how the computer was reasoning, but I couldn’t solve the problem.

“My brain is tired and I’m going to bed,” I told him. “But if you are able to solve it, then you’re better than me.”

Before I could finish speaking, he shouted: “I’ve done it!”

The next day when he got stuck again, he requested my help. Again, I explained the move to him, which helped but I couldn’t supply the final blocks to solve the problem. Except now, I couldn’t use sleep as an excuse. But he again solved it within minutes of my intervention.

So I told him: “Once again, you have done what your father couldn’t do, and I taught programming at the university. So well done!”

You might have already guessed what I think is the most important variable to success as shown by my 8-year old son.

But if you haven’t, the answer to success in whatever vocation lies in only one word: obsession.

Those who obsessed over what they do are the best in what they do. They attain success quicker. They persevere and stay on the task longer. They might even enjoy what they do more.

This to some extent explains Angela Duckworth’s Grit Scale which attributes success to two words: passion and perseverance. But I’ve reduced it to one.

Think about it. The obsessive possess everything required for success. They sleep with the subject in their minds. They wake up with it. They are eager to come back to an unfinished task. They consider difficulties and problems as more challenges to face and conquer.

Take a step back and consider real people who have ever succeeded in anything: science, politics and business.

Let me ask you a few questions: who is the most successful businessman in Nigeria now? Let’s say you guessed Dangote as many would, can you find anyone more obsessed about business than Dangote?

He was the one who granted a media interview on a Sallah day!

Another question: Who is our president now? Now, let’s consider him as the most successful politician in the country. How did he become president? We may have different definitions of obsession but was he obsessed or not? How many times did he seek for that office? How many times did he fight in courts for that office? How many Political parties did he join to run for that office? Now I ask you again, was he obsessed?

Let us talk about Theodore Roosevelt, considered one of the United States great presidents.

His obsession wasn’t leadership, but to prove to himself, his parents and the world that he was physically capable in spite of his sickly body. He famously said: “We must all either wear out or rust out, every one of us. My choice is to wear out.”

In “21 Epigrams Every Man Should Live By” Ryan Holiday told a beautiful story of Roosevelt.

“At the beginning of his life, few would have predicted that Theodore Roosevelt even had a choice in the matter. He was sickly and fragile, doted on by worried parents.

“Then, a conversation with his father sent him driven, almost maniacally in the other direction. ‘I will make my body,’ he said, when told that he would not go far in this world with a brilliant mind in a frail body. What followed was a montage of boxing, hiking, horseback riding, hunting, fishing, swimming, boldly charging enemy fire, and then a grueling work pace as one of the most prolific and admired presidents in American history. Again, this epigram was prophetic for Roosevelt, because at only 54 years old, his body began to wear out.”

Because of his obsession to make his body work, Roosevelt used the same body as a tool to become a hero.

Obsession may sound like a negative word, but used in this sense, it is not only positive but also powerful.

So I pray that your children find their own obsession.