Avoiding marriage killers!

Many couples make the mistake of allowing some marriage mistakes to affect their marriages without even thinking of the circumstances that follow such actions. Even in moments of great conflict and crises, divorce is no solution. It merely substitutes a new set of miseries for the ones left behind. It is best to guard your marriage against any unforeseen erosion as though you were defending your lives.

Marriage is one place that once entered there are various challenges some pleasing while the others are the other way round. Some of these things we keep learning on a daily basis.  It is an institution where our strengths and weaknesses are not only tested, but challenged   to see how we can cope and overcome.

We all can make   a marriage or relationship worth the while. Not only can we survive, it but we can also keep it waxing stronger if we give it priority in our life.

There are different things that can kill a marriage. Knowing them and having an idea of how to prevent it or fix it can go a long way to save the marriage.

One of the biggest marriage killers is respect according to Mr. David Folurunsho a civil servant.  He says “once there is no respect in a marriage, it can never survive the test of time. For a marriage to be successful and happy, the couple must learn to respect one and another.”

Showing respect to your spouse can go a long way towards getting you through the normal conflicts and challenges of marriage. Lack of respect and hurtful statements and blatant disregard for your spouse is one strong and big signal that the marriage is heading towards severe conflict and the possibility of a divorce cannot be ruled out in such instances where respect is lacking in the marriage.

Another marriage killer is communication. Regardless of what challenges you face in your marriage, communication is an absolute necessity. And if it is lacking, then you should know that one of the marriage killers has just invaded your home. “If you can’t communicate with your spouse, then how can things change for the better? Our inability to clearly communicate with our spouse clearly shows the negative tendencies that could happen in future. Some couples are naturally gifted communicators while others are not. Good communication is necessary in every successful marriage as communication breakdown could hamper a lot of positive outcomes in the marriage,” says Nafisa Ibrahim, a public relations analyst.

Abdul-Rahman Hussain says selfishness is another thing that could destroy marriages. “When we think of ourselves and how our marriage should meet our needs notwithstanding what the other person goes through, then the marriage begins to corrode within. The marriage should be higher on the priority then each of our individual needs. There are two kinds of people in the world the givers and the takers. A marriage that involves two takers can be a wonderful thing but when we have a giver and a taker, then friction is the other of the day as selfishness will definitely devastate the marriage at some point in the marriage”

The next marriage killer according to Tosin Ige is just as bad as a lack of respect, and that’s a lack of trust. “If you and your partner don’t trust one another, then your marriage is like a sinking ship with no lifeboats. No one can survive in a relationship without trust. Not having trust tears at your heart and your very soul. It stops communication before it even starts. If you can’t trust the person you have committed the rest of your life to, then how can you expect to make it through the rest of your lives together? Trust is no doubt the foundation of a happy and successful marriage. Trust is one of the challenges many couples face today. We should all learn to find a way in giving trust a chance to survive in our relationships” Tosin says.

Another marriage killer is interference from in-laws.

Though there are times when they are essential but most times some of them tend to over step their boundaries. This often turns out to be destructive for our marriages.

Though they might mean well, they often fail to understand the mindset of the couple. To avoid this couple should treat their marriage as a priority. Couples could discuss and come to a consensus on issues concerning their lives if they intend to keep living happily as a couple.