As PDP commits hara-kiri

Mind-boggling money figures are being reeled out by party biggies as they try to outdo one another in the old art of washing dirty linen in public. Since PDP’s shirt is dirtier than a Nigerian roadside mechanic’s, even Unilever cannot produce enough Omo to wash it clean.
At issue is the desire by some hidden hand in PDP to oust the National Working Committee led by party chairman Ahmadu Adamu Mu’azu. What started as rumour in the newspapers soon gathered steam as powerful regional groupings within the party began asking for the NWC to be sacked for leading the party to a woeful showing at the polls. Some bigwigs leaked the info that Mu’azu collected N100 million from the party’s coffers on election eve and pocketed it as he left for Bauchi. Other NWC members also collected various sums in tens of millions as they headed home for the polls. Since none of them managed to deliver his home state to President Jonathan’s doomed re-election effort, they are now being asked to cough out the money.
But the NWC members are in no mood to go down alone. They fought back through a press conference addressed by their spokesman Olisah Metuh. This man spent the last three years perfecting his knives against APC leaders. This time he took his sharp knife and drove it into the Presidency’s belly, saying it caused its own defeat at the polls by embarking on a smear campaign against APC and its candidate Muhammadu Buhari. You Olisah Metuh, were you not the one who said innumerable times that APC was the sponsor of Boko Haram? Which campaign of calumny was bigger than that? If that is your only reason you should better return the N30 million you took because you have no case.
As for Governor Ayo Fayose who is leading the charge against Mu’azu and his team, Metuh said the NWC spent more than N200million on his campaign for the Ekiti top job last year. Fayose, you must be an ingrate. Is it not from that money that you packaged small bags of rice adorned with your picture which you shared right at the polling stations and called it stomach infrastructure? How can you turn around now and bite the finger that fed you with rice?
Chairman Mu’azu also said that PDP should not be changing its leaders every year. Is it now that you know that? The time when they dragged old man Bamanga Tukur from his seat, kicking and screaming, and they brought you out of the blues and put you there, why didn’t you say the party shouldn’t be changing its leaders every year? All of you deserve what you are getting. The time we were telling you people to have mercy on us and embezzle less money, did you listen? Go ahead and commit intra-party hara-kiri. We don’t give a damn!
 
No more trekking; we need crawlers
Too many people are trekking all over the place these days in one form of celebration or another since the 2015 elections. We congratulate the great trekker Sulaiman Hashimu for his innovation in trekking from Lagos to Abuja to celebrate his preferred candidate’s win in the presidential elections. Since Hashimu’s trek made him a big celebrity all along his route, many other young Nigerians are jumping into the trekking game. One man is trekking from Kaduna to Lagos to thank Yorubas for voting for Buhari, not knowing that what they actually voted for was a post-2019 Odu’a script.
Another man is walking from Yola to Abuja to witness Buhari’s inauguration while two men are trekking from Abuja to Makurdi to celebrate Samuel Ortom’s election as Governor of Benue. Yet another man says he will ride on his bicycle to all 19 Northern states. Look here, we are tired of all this trekking. Can’t you show some innovation? Someone should crawl through Sambisa Forest to mark this election. Another person should swim across Lake Chad from Baga to Fatokol. Yet another young man should jump from one Iroko tree to another from Sapele to Calabar. That is what I call innovation, not copycat trekking all over the place.