Are you committed to commitment in your marriage?

Mrs. Enegide is not the only woman in this type of predicament as there are several other women in her shoes, who have decided to take life the way it presents itself.

It is important for every woman to have the support and encouragement of her husband, but most of them have failed in their commitment to their wives and the home front in general. There are several women that place importance on the opinions of their husbands about them, thereby impacting in how they view themselves. This is necessary but becomes moot if the man in question does not reciprocate the respect that has being accorded him.

Girls generally just want to have fun, said the pop song, but all that changes when they become wives as they want love and support from their husbands so that they can be assured of the commitment in the marriage.  “We have this notion that husbands never leave their wives. Unfortunately, times have changed as we are in an era where the sanctity of marriage has lost its integrity because some men seem to have no value for it.

Commitment in a marriage is very vital as indeed every woman needs it to be assured,” says Sarah Felix, a secondary school teacher in Abuja. “I have come to realise that whenever I give my wife all the attention she needs, there is general peace in the home and whenever I shift from that routine of giving her all the attention, she starts nagging and complaining. Wives are happy when their husbands show them abundant concern, care, attention and gratitude. Marriage, more than ever, is being threatened and it is all because of the lukewarm attitude that most husbands indulge themselves in. They forget that no matter what, your wife is forever your partner.

There is every reason to show commitment in a marriage for the sake of peace and harmony, says Mr. Jimoh Abdulrasheed, an Abuja-based accountant. Then, according to Mr. Harley, a marriage consultant, a woman’s top six emotional needs are affection, conversation, honesty, openness, financial support and family commitment. “It is normal for every woman to feel bothered if her husband does not show any commitment in whatever concerns her as it will keep haunting her that she is not good enough for him. It is important that husbands give confidence and support to their wives. Every woman deserves the right to her husband being the first person to believe in her and her capabilities. Every woman deserves the trust of her husband, no matter what; there is nothing as painful as being neglected and short-changed by a spouse, especially if it is happening to the woman,” Harley said.

No marriage is smooth all through as there are bound to be problems in one form or the other. But totally ignoring your wife and not showing concern causes emotional pain and stress for her. Every woman deserves the right to feel special and unique. Problems come and go. “My husband is quick to forgive me when I make a mistake. Once a problem is discussed and solved, it is over. That shows that he is committed to the relationship and I feel happy and relaxed,” one Hajia Jummai Awwalu, a housewife, said.  

 Whatever the reason, just learn from experience. Though some might not be under our control but commitment to marriage does not entail much, compared to the pain and devastation it might cause at the end of the day. Commit yourself to commitment today.