The question the world is asking is whether he took the decision out of jealousy or following the fatigue he suffered after dialoguing with authentic university professors for twelve hours non-stop; or truly for Madiba. This follows Yokosuna’s vomit anointing President Jones as the new Mandela.
While Apati, hassle villa’s spokesperson quoted the president as saying the exit of Madiba would “create a huge vacuum that would be difficult to fill on the continent,” Yokosuna was quoted as saying that the world should brighten up its sombre mood because President Jones has achieved for Naija, Africa and the world (by inference) all that Madiba stood for. And for those who may have the temerity to ask how, the man-mountain already provided an answer – President Jones held a marathon 12-hour session with ‘authentic’ university professors without collapsing.
What Yokosuna did not add was that, while Mandela’s perseverance destroyed the walls of apartheid and the birth of a new nation – the fake Madiba still has the entire university system in quandary. In fact, we should all go and prostrate or dobale before David Mark who was quoted as saying that those who signed the agreement with ASUU did not know their left from their right. Apart from the fact that they have not denied, our own education minister who evidently must have failed ‘O’ Level English language believes that when a group offers to go and consult, an agreement is reached. Naija children who get spanked for failing ‘O’ Level English should sue their parents to the UN while those outraged by the level of grammatical bombs written on social media in honour of Madiba’s passage should give us a break.
It is now on record that the battle-inoculated authentic university professors did not just discuss with the president for twelve hours, they went on hunger strike (like Madiba) to prove their commitment. I mean authentic Naija fasting – biribiri – without water or food. It did not end there, they went home and but for the painful passage of Festus Iyayi, they are still kicking arses, if you pardon my French. There is something to say for real cassava bread consumers. But President Jones? Well, he even had to see his wife’s German talisman and before then, he missed a London event.
For those who studied real human anatomy and earned authentic medical degrees, there is something to be said for Naija lecturers that differentiates them from the president. Naija public relations practitioners have much to redeem their profession from eternal ruin by the new public relations handbook now being used to manage an incredibly damaged image. The comparison of President Jones to Mandela is the unfurled eighth wonder of the world.
Come to think of it, our own Madiba has been too indisposed to join forces with Transparency International’s marking scheme. It would seem, from their 2013 Corruption Perceptions Index, that they have flatly rejected our president’s marking scheme. It did not seem like the country has moved too far from where it was last year. Now this was the koko or the crux of the matter. This year, Naija has ‘improved’ to the 144th position out of 177. Last year, the argument was that if you scored 144 out of 177, you had passed! Those who are not as mathematically numerate as Naija executhieves may be scowling, but the rest of us are not perturbed.
If you look at that argument and the morass in which it has plunged our economy, compared with Mandela’s South Africa, then you can understand where the rain has been beating us. This year, the South Africans ‘failed’; they scored 72 out of 177. Does anybody still need a bolekaja medical degree in cheekspeak to know that Naija truly has a Mandela in the presidency?
This is not the only way that we are better than the South Africans. The other night the South Africans had to beg us to increase their visa quota as investors. Just check the South African consular section here, and you are unlikely to see a single Naija person queuing for visa to go to Johannesburg, (except of course to pay their respects to the real Madiba). Who wants to leave their El Dorado of social insecurity and disposal life to go to a country where a man who spent 27 years in prison still lived to be 95 before packing up in the comfort of his own home?
Besides, it would appear that South African big men and women do not know how to die with dignity – on the gurneys of European medical students. Madiba was not flown to Germany or anywhere else for treatment. He got all the medical needs he needed at home. There is something to be said for the late Mandela.