A few days ago, when video clips showing a male corps member proposing to a female soldier identified as Private Sofiyat Akinlabi at the National Youth Service Corps orientation camp in Yikpata, Kwara State hit the internet, pleasant reactions from many social media users trailed the development.
One of the video clips apparently recorded on the camp’s parade ground showed the yet-to-be-identified corps member holding a ring as he knelt to ask the female soldier to marry him.
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The visibly excited spinster, in military uniform, accepted the young graduate’s proposal and the latter went on to insert the ring in his love interest’s finger. The lovebirds later locked themselves in a warm embrace and kissed to the cheery applause of other corps members.
But the cheery applause later turned sour for the duo following reported detention of the female officer who was still in custody as of Thursday when Daily Trust on Sunday visited the Army headquarters to get the latest development on the matter.
A cross-section of the female personnel serving in the military and para-military, who spoke to our correspondent under the condition of anonymity because of retribution, expressed mixed feelings over the incident.
While some of the female personnel described Akinlabi’s detention as “unfortunate”, others argued that those working in the military terrain were aware of what the job entailed before taking the offer, and as such all extant rules should be followed.
The authority of the Nigerian Army through its spokesman, Brig.-Gen. Onyema Nwachukwu, while justifying her offence, listed not less than five violations of the extant rules of the military she flouted.
Nwachukwu said, “One, fraternisation while on official duty at the NYSC camp. That is, indulging in an amorous relationship with a trainee.
“Second, a personnel must have served for three years before he/she can qualify for marriage. Third, she disobeyed the Armed Forces of Nigeria standing guidelines and directives for the use of Social Media.
“Fourth, indulging in romance while in uniform; and five, her conduct was prejudicial to good order and military discipline.”
The senior military officer further argued the female soldier’s action was tantamount to taking advantage of her trainee.
According to him, the public would have gone haywire, outraged and accused the Nigerian Army of coercion if it was a male soldier that proposed to a female corps member during the NYSC parade at the orientation camp.
However, other female officers spoken to under the condition of anonymity by Daily Trust on Sunday faulted Nwachukwu’s argument, saying the disciplinary measures being taken against their colleagues are discriminatory.
One of the officers said, “As far as Nigerian laws are concerned, both males and females who attain 18 years of age already qualify for marriage”.
“Besides, there is a proper distinction between accepting a marriage proposal and actually getting married. I don’t think our colleague, Private Hannah is getting married which would have warranted taking actions against her by our Ogas.
“I don’t think it is out of order for me if I explain that these two things (accepting a marriage proposal and actually getting married) are quite different.
“Our Ogas should know that a proposal and subsequent acceptance are just promises of a future marriage. Merely saying yes to a man does not make you his wife.
“In that regard, Private Akinlabi did not contravene any extant rules barring a soldier from being married unless they had already served for three years.”
Another female officer in a chat with Daily Trust on Sunday said it was worrisome that authorities could say that she flouted social media use guidelines for soldiers.
“How does that sound? I do not think this argument is logical enough because it has not been established that she posted the videos online herself,” the officer said.
She continued, “We live in a world where anyone can share images with the world without permission. Thus, it is unfair to punish her for what she could not control. We can argue that she knew she was being recorded, but what could she have done otherwise?
“Once her suitor proposed in public, everything that followed was almost out of her hands. Even if she had rejected his hand in marriage and walked away, she would still have gone viral.”
In a separate chat with our correspondent, another officer, while speaking on another army’s list of sins chronicled “indulged in romance” while in uniform, explained that it would have been justifiable if male military officers who proposed to female corps members in the past had also been punished.
She added, “This point has been debunked times without number by social media users who shared images of male soldiers who also proposed to their girlfriends while wearing their uniforms.
“Nothing is entirely wrong with indulging in romance while wearing a professional uniform. It was not like she was caught making out with a corps member in Mammy market.”
On her part, a police officer while commenting on the issue, said, “Showing off one’s romantic side is not a bad idea and I think it is quite a human thing to do. For the Nigerian Army to denounce Akinlabi, it shows they do not quite think of their officers as humans.
“Proposing to one’s partner while wearing uniforms also shows pride in one’s profession. Asking them to remove the official outfit before asking someone’s hand in marriage is demanding they dubiously separate who they are from the future they want to build with those partners.
“Insisting that Private Akinlabi should not have ‘indulged in romance’ while wearing her uniform is unwarranted and needlessly harsh. Officers should not be restrained from publicly displaying affection, whether to their lovers, or parents, or children.”
President of Women in Politics Forum, Ebere Ifendu, in a telephone interview with one of our correspondents, expressed dissatisfaction over the incident, saying the extant rules allegedly violated are subject to interpretations.
Ifendu said, “It is just a crazy thing. I don’t think it should be an issue to talk about. These army men wear uniforms to propose to ladies, it is this level of discrimination that is very alarming within the military. What’s wrong with that?
“Even all over the world don’t we see Americans in uniform proposing? Don’t we see them coming out in uniform celebrating one thing or the other? If they tolerate men doing it; why not women?
“If they have these extant rules, does it mean no man in the military has violated that rule? Why have they not arrested men? That would have made us understand that they have rules nobody should flout. They are just being discriminatory in everything, and it is irresponsible of them to do that.
“We, Women in Politics are embarrassed that it is happening at this time, in the 21st century, and the annoying thing is that it is discriminatory because if it is a rule, it should be a rule that will be applied to everyone once you’re military personnel, being a man or woman. Why single out women?
“In all these uniformed organizations, there is a lot of discriminatory things going on against women. You’re not supposed to get pregnant, you’re not supposed to do this, do that etc. Why didn’t they say military women should not take their baths or eat since they’re being teleguided.
“We, the women lawyers are already warming up to it, because we need to get some of these things properly put in place. If they have laws, let them tell us laws that say women should not accept proposals. FIDA is already warming up.’’
Efforts to get Nigerian Army’s latest move whether Akinlabi would be released proved abortive as calls to Brig.-Gen. Nwachukwu were unanswered on Thursday evening.
However, there were reports yesterday that she had been released on the order the Chief of Army Staff (COAS), Lt. Gen. Faruq Yahaya, in the spirit of the Christmas season.
It was learnt that Yahaya, in the last few days, made overtures to the leadership of the Nigerian armed forces, requesting that the soldier be pardoned.
Yahaya admonished the female soldier to obey the ethics of the profession and shun indiscipline.
Army spokesman, Brig.-Gen. Onyema Nwachukwu, could not be immediately reached for comments.
Some lawyers and human rights activists, including the wife of Femi Falana (SAN), Funmi have contended that Akinlabi’s decision to accept the marriage proposal was in accordance with the freedom of association guaranteed by Section 40 of the Nigerian Constitution, 1999.
The immediate past president of the International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA), Rhoda Tyoden, said relying on army rules cannot override the Nigerian constitution.
She added that so long as the rule, which bars female soldiers from marrying while less than three years in service, does not apply to male personnel, it is discriminatory and therefore unconstitutional.
“If these laws were made in times past and nobody bothered to look at the import of it and all that, it is high time we look at it.
“If the fear of her becoming pregnant has anything detrimental to her service in the military, then what about the officer who impregnates her? Let the rule be generic that nobody engages in this or that.”
The Executive Director of the Centre for Peace and Conflict Management in Africa, Noah Ajare, said there should be a balance in the rules.
“She is not supposed to accept the proposal by the rules, but by the constitution, and by the Nigerian Constitution, she is free to accept the marriage proposal.
“They should forgive her and give a caution,” he said
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