A welcome to Sai Baba’s Own Noisemakers

When mad men start show more than momentary sanity, the clinically sane should not take their place. That is why I am going to cut some of Sai Baba’s first batch nominees some slack. Okay, by now we have all confirmed that the nominees are -all Naija people. Anyone who wants to know who Naija people are should look at the last paragraph of Sai Baba’s anniversary speech reminding us that his baptismal name is Mai Gaskiya. It’s a challenge that true disciples should adopt change as their code of conduct.
Yes, I know some people don’t like to hear Code of Conduct, and that may include some of the ministerial nominees waiting for their arses to be formally exposed. If BS decides to show Naija people that he is not the only guy full of bullshit, most of us would not be surprised. Instead, we would just call the guys at Guinness to open a new category to their global celebration (or is it excoriation) of notable events; maybe have entries for the World Unshockable Scandals. When a Naija person says ‘I am shocked’, please snigger and even sneeze, because they are only joking. Certain things have no better expression.
Those who say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder have been looking at too many Naija babes showing their booties on Facebook. So many other things are in the eye of the beholder – one of them is corruption; the other being shame. To a Naija eye, one man’s corrupt person is another man’s hero. I have nothing but admiration for Madam Globe whose £27,000 change was recently placed in safer hands by the hitherto little known National Crime Agency. The shock for most Naija goat keepers and goat lovers is not that people could have money in their possession for which they could not account, but that Buharists had been shouting that the cash she hid is not up to the celebrated £12 billion. I was surprised  – that nothing surprises us.
And if you think I am exaggerating, just wait until the next Boko Haram blast occurs (ok, God forbid) and you will see how the unshockable behave nowadays. While some are wailing and others are running, the unshockables would be enthusiastically filming the entire scenario. When they have had enough, they would post it on social media and some depraved loonies would be gloating and sniggering at how ndiawusa are killing themselves and the impotent new Sheriff can do nothing about it. Reincarnation – I am waiting for you; I want the same parents, but make it far so I can watch unperturbed as goats eat yams with adulation. You have to be Yoruba to understand the full meaning of some people’s names – Diesani meaning – just a little – see?
Evidently Sai Baba is not going to be a politician. He doesn’t know how to claim that he asked the Brutish to witchhunt our ‘oyel sister’. On a personal note, I think it’s time to put on my ethnic solidarity cap. From all indications, it would appear that the corrupt are very benevolent; they chop beyond borders. Some of the names being bandied about on Diesani’s case showed that she practically made an oil-less kinsman from Okunland a jet-set accomplice. It would mean that my wife is a liar, because only last week, she endured the harrowing journey to Okeagi, my hometown. Instead of appreciating the state of neglect, she kept complaining about the shape and state of the roads. Yes, I know that Kogi has no airport and there is absolutely no need to build one, but how I wished that some of those cash being ferreted to wherever had dropped on the contractors handling the Kabba-Ilorin road; it would have made that necessary commute home not only more pleasant but even more appealingly compelling.
Anyway, every time I think about it, I remind myself that wishes are not horses; they’ll never be. So I think Okun accomplishes don’t seem to have learnt how to take care of halleluyah choristers who think that anything less than £12 billion is not worth being called yam and that £27k floating in one’s garage is no qualification to being called a goat.
So back to the ministerial list, I read in several places that Digbolugi Ayo Fayose, of Ekiti State has warned petition-writers not to move their pen or placards anywhere near Fayemi, his predecessor’s name on the list. Fayose, if you have not forgotten is the last man standing with President Jones in the sinking ship called PDP (JP Clark has bailed). He does not want his state allocation lost in the labyrinth of fruitless petitions. Other petition writers – have adopted President Jones’ attitude towards these things – they just don’t give a damn! The only person who can sack a nominee is either the past BS or the known BS! Here’s a warm welcome to Sai Baba’s own noisemakers.