A – love thine enemy electoral outcome

With the presidential and national assembly polls concluded with winners and losers named, there’s hope for our country. A country that would not forgive has no future. Contrary to popular opinion, our people have learnt everything, forgotten nothing but have chosen the noble path of forgiveness.

Abuja, the home of egunje has shown its dislike of Sai Baba’s austere politics. It is obvious that presidential tight-fistedness has affected the fake lifestyle of Abuja residents. We love the era of the locusts when cash flowed in bullion vans from Arsehole Rock through the corridors of Maitama to Asokoro giving residents of Nyanya, Lugbe, Karu and Zuba a scramble for leftovers. That is now the exclusive reserve of the Emir of Bourdillon. Ask Sai Babarians and they would remind you that their god has made the capital city a safer place to dwell. No explosions going off near the federal secretariat or Nyanya. The last time I checked, the UN and similar diplomatic missions are safe behind their high walls and electric fences. Only an Abujan would not be grateful.

Check elsewhere, from Kaura Namoda to Zungeru, Oron to Oro and Ebute Metta to Ekpoma, people are happy with the APC. At the last count, not only did Sai Baba win a landslide, he has a certificate of return to prove it. His party is now in control of over half of the sinnate. They could decide to amend the constitution for Sai Baba to run again in 2023, and I hope they would just to piss off their enemies.

If Sai Baba had offended Naija people, they have forgiven him. If he has performed below par, they have endorsed the rights of a failed student to repeat his class. As any school leaver would testify, second chance sometimes spring surprises, so let’s wait and see.

Naija people have shown that not every sinner should be forgiven. Kwarans are very wicked. The Saraki dynasty has served that state with devotion since it was created. If they had been greedy, they would have changed the name of the state and patented it. All his life, the elder Saraki was the Baba’sale of Kwara politricks. He installed his son as governor and his daughter as sinnator. Things took a turn for the worse when the daughter attempted to switch lanes.

Ungrateful Kwarans have ditched Bukky, claiming they have thrown him into political oblivion. I want to agree with them, but I remember that Bukky has the best severance package of all governors to date. With a bewitching compensation as president of the sinnate, he’s got a better deal than parents of the O To Ge movement who are likely to die on the pension queue.

The people of Benue forgave whatever led to the mass burial of several victims of herdsmen to give Sai Baba massive votes. But the aftershocks of the Kwara hurricane swept through George Akume’s home, denying him of his favourite napping spot at the sinnate chambers.

For standing firm through eight years of Boko Haram persecution, the suffering people of Borno rewarded their governor Kashim Shettima with a sinnate seat. They’re sending him off to Abuja with gyara tickets for five of his ex-aides.

In the years of his chairmanship of the governor’s forum, elites maligned Abdulazeez Yari, calling him the absentee governor. The man constantly showed he had no solution to the perennial killings in his state and no apologies for that cluelessness. Zamfarans pitied him and gave him a ticket to hold a watching brief in Abuja as a sinnator. Such magnanimity to the man who attributed a meningitis outbreak to the iniquity of his people.

Those who accused Ibikunle Amosun of orchestrating the stoning of Sai Baba in Ogun were wrong. The ex-sinnator-turned governor is returning to his spot at the upper chambers while his enemies are running their mouths on social media.

I’ve no idea what to make of the wickedness of Oyo people for sending Constituted Authority into political oblivion. Only the money-hating Rotimi Amaechi, could love Sai Baba better than Godswill Akpabio but his people sought to prematurely retire him. Akpabio believes a miracle would restore his seat, the kind of miracle that spinned incredible numbers in areas rendered uninhabitable by the insurgency. But the enemies of these people would live long enough to see what they become when names of appointees start flying to the Irrational Assembly.

If anyone is looking forward to bills making the erection of statues a national pastime, they should look for Rochas Kokorocha. The statue-builder would now be sitting with Orji Uzor Kalu who perhaps would provide that dock photo-op that Saraki epitomized. Gombe people – bhet why? The whole world is waiting to hear why you guys gave Dankwambo the electoral cold-shoulder.

Lawyers can’t lose because the Turaki is going to court. The big question is whether PDP would reject the seats it garnered in the parliamentary polls pending the determination of the substantive suit? Or could they accept those results and reject the presidential?

From all indications, these poll results are proof that we love our oppressors, we are happy to stay where APC has brought us as a nation and that we’ll always forgive our enemies. We are all born again, except that guy who chased away internally displaced persons in his compound for voting Buhari.