A life-long scar

 Tahir walked in at just the time I was wiping the tears from my eyes. He looked at the my tear-stained face, the newspaper in my hand and simply asked.

‘So who died this time?’

‘No, one.’ I replied, looking up at him. What made you think someone had died?’ I asked.

‘You were crying just now and reading the newspaper. So I just assumed that someone you knew had died and you were reading about it in the paper.’ He replied.

‘No, I was reading about this’ I answered, handing the paper over to him ‘she also had a baby.’

‘You were crying because someone had a baby?’ He asked before taking the paper from me. ‘How odd, I thought babies were good news.’ Tahir added.

‘Yes, babies are good news, but due to the circumstances of their birth some babies are nothing but bad fortune and calamity.’ I replied.

‘Oh I see, you were referring to this 10-month old child brought home by the latest Chibok returnee. Yes it’s bad luck that she became a mother in such a terrible situation. But still look on the bright side, she is now safely home and can look forward to a bright future with her child. I actually see no reason to cry over this Bint.’ Tahir said consolingly.

‘You may not, Hubby dear because you are not mother.’ I answered.

‘There you go, dear Bint. What does being a mother have to do with my prediction that she can look forward to a better life with her child?’ He demanded.

‘That’s not what I meant. Being a mother means putting yourself in the young lady’s shoes and imagining what life was like for her in her pregnancy and at child birth. For instance when I saw the first Chibok school girl to be found, my first thought was where did she have this baby? In the forest, at some makeshift camp, without a single medical personnel or midwife to help? Or was she lucky that among the other captives there were doctors and nurses?

Like you were advocating now, I brushed out the thought and said at least she was found safe and alive. Then came the second mother, who was released along with 20 other abductees. I looked at her tall, emaciated frame and again wondered how she managed pregnancy and childbirth among those inhuman hooligans who abducted them. And reports said some of her friends were also pregnant at the time they were released, and my heart sank at the prospect of these innocent girls having more of those criminals’ offspring. I was trying to come to terms with all that when this new one was found. Lo and behold, she was also with a child.

When I sat here with the paper in my hand, my only thought was how did they manage life in those circumstances? I thought hard and could not fight back the tears when they came.’ I concluded.

‘They obviously managed it well because they were able to survive. Look at how some of them were dancing and singing just days after their release. They seem more than ready to put the past behind them Bint and you should do the same.’ Tahir advised.

‘You may be right but my concern is they have gone through so much that will keep their souls scarred for life. I mean it’s every girls dream to marry honorably and have a loving first time with her husband. It’s every girl’s wish to enjoy celebrating her first pregnancy with a joyful and sympathetic spouse. To find him there when going through those painful pregnancy blues. But these poor school girls had none of that. For all we know, they might have all been raped to become mothers. They had all those morning sicknesses and related illnesses without any antenatal care. Above all, they might have gone into labour without anybody showing concern about their comfort at such a difficult time. Then they had to do without the necessary after child birth care that every new mother needs. It breaks my heart to know that these poor teenagers had been subjected to all these difficulty without any loving support.

Do you remember how you were with me in every single one of my antenatal visits during my first pregnancy? You were even in the theatre when the doctor announced that due to foetal distress our baby had to be brought out by Caesarean section. I remember the doctor joking that you should sing to me because I was awake and only had epidural aneasthesia. All these are great memories Tahir, I still feel waves of happiness whenever I remember them, though its more than two decades ago.

But these young women will never know these first time motherhood joys because they were thrust into it through the crudest most inhuman way possible. This is why I cried when I saw yet another victim of those rapists and savages.’ I declared.

‘I understand Bint. But there is nothing anyone can do to change what is past. We can only hope for a better and easier future for them and also for a speedy return of all their schoolmates who are yet to be found.’ Tahir offered.

‘Yes, but we can also pray to Almighty Allah to expose and punish the perpetrators of this evil both here and in the hereafter. For using His name to kill and maim as well as commit abduction and rape of so many innocent souls, may Allah visit on them the worst kind of punishment from right here on earth. They may have given our young girls life-long scars but they will suffer much worse fate by the grace of Allah.’ I pronounced heatedly.